Saturday, August 31, 2013

A Labor Day Limerick


On Monday we celebrate labor
Whether you, your wife, or your neighbor
So let's  give a shout
And push the kid out!
Oh sorry - not that kind of labor?

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

A Football Widow Limerick

It was worse than the young Mrs. feared
Her husband had just disappeared
'Twas Sunday at one
But where was her hon?
Dismayed, she thought, "This is weird."

She found him in front of the telly
Chips and a beer on his belly
He said, "We've no meat
In the fridge for to eat
Would you make a quick trip to the deli?"   

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Carly Likes Custard - Limericks for Children

Young Carly was certainly flustered
When she tasted the caramel custard
Her taste buds rejected
The flavor detected
'Cause the stuff was stadium mustard!

Sunday, August 25, 2013

A Gallant Young Soldier Named Copps

A gallant young soldier named Copps
Was told by a maiden named Stopps
Your uniform's neat
Your kisses are sweet
But your breath smells a trifle like hops!

Friday, August 23, 2013

Pirate Treasure - Limericks for Kids

Gold and gems beyond measure
Do give a pirate great pleasure
So just you beware
They don't like to share
- Don't steal a pirate's treasure!

Thursday, August 22, 2013

A Bug From Grenada - Limericks for Kids

A bug, there was, from Grenada
To name it, we needed more data
It clicked and it chirped
It belched and it burped
A cricket, perhaps, or cicada?

Friday, August 16, 2013

Will Wanted To Grow A Pear - A Limerick

Will wanted to grow a pear
To show at the York County fair
To his lasting credit
He watered and fed it
And his was the biggest pear there

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Bodie Island Lighthouse at Night - A Limerick

A beacon on the island of Bodie
Has stripes, but isn't too gaudy
Its beam, flashes twice
In foul weather or nice
And when fog and showers are spotty.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

A Vain Young Belle From Meridan - A Limerick

A vain young belle from Meridan
With eyes like polished obsidian
When presented a gown
She said with a frown
"That's just what you'd put an old biddy in!"

Monday, August 12, 2013

A Fly And A Flea In A Flue - Ogden Nash Classic Limerick

A fly and a flea in a flue
Were imprisoned, but what could they do?
Said the fly, "Let us flee!"
Said the flea, "Let us fly!"
And they flew through a flaw in the flue.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Ogden Nash - A Limerick Ode to Liquor Is Quicker

Old Ogden could write a poem quicker
Than a drunk could drink up free liquor
And just like hard candy
The rhymes are quite dandy
On this point we simply can't dicker.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

There Was an Old Man in a Trunk - Ogden Nash Limerick

There was an old man in a trunk
Who inquired of his wife, "Am I drunk?"
She replied with regret,
"I'm afraid so my pet,"
And he answered, "It's just as I thunk."

Friday, August 9, 2013

A Sixties Protest Limerick - Ogden Nash

Cried a teen-age protestor named Jill,
"Those CIA squares make me ill!
First they bugged our martinis,
Our bras and bikinis,
And now they are bugging The Pill!"

Thursday, August 8, 2013

There Once Was A Fellow Named Nash - A Limerick Ode To Ogden Nash

There once was a fellow named Nash
He could write funny poems in a flash
But some of the time
The truth of the rhyme
Could give the poor subject a rash!

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Ogden Nash Limerick Week - There Was A Brave Girl of Connecticut

There was a brave girl of Connecticut
Who flagged the express with her peticut,
Which her elders defined
As presence of mind,
But deplorable absence of ecticut.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

A Pompous Old Snoot Did Opine

A pompous old snoot did opine,
"You must match the meat with the wine."
A man, young and smirky
Quizzed the snoot re: beef jerky.
And the snoot, with the man, would not dine.

Monday, August 5, 2013

Wyatt and the Milkshake - A Limerick for Kids

There was a young man named Wyatt
Who did not even try to be quiet
He finished a slurp
Let out a big burp
Then said, "You really should try it!"

Saturday, August 3, 2013

500 Pound Chicken

He stood, as if a man stricken
When he saw the 500 pound chicken
The bird's giant size
In its legs and its thighs
Made him glad the thing wasn't kickin'.

Friday, August 2, 2013

There Was A Nasty Old Geezer

There was a nasty, old geezer
His wife? He ne'er tried to please 'er
He knew she got cranky
When he did not use his hanky
Still he picked his big nose with a tweezer!