Thursday, February 28, 2013

A Rooster Limerick - Circa 1903

Said a rooster, "I'd have you all know,
I'm nearly the whole of the show;
Why, the sun every morn
Gets up with the dawn
For the purpose of hearing me crow."

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Don't Worry About The Bad Guys - A Barack Obama Limerick

When Barack first saw a spy drone,
He said, "I must have my own.
Don't bother with bail,
Or lawyers or jail,
'Cause into small bits they'll be blown."

Sunday, February 24, 2013

St. Patrick's Day Cake For Cops - Saturday Evening Post Limerick Contest

The frosting, of course, is bright green
On the most perfect cake you have seen
On St. Paddy's Day
Maggie wanted to say
Thanks to precinct thirteen.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

St. Patrick's Day Cake - Saturday Evening Post Limerick Contest

Mrs. Mary O'Leary did bake
A green-frosted shamrock cake
For those dressed in blue
Who protect me and you
And risk life and limb for our sake.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

An Actress Was Seeking A Role

An actress was seeking a role
A particular part was her goal
She really did want
To play a croissant
She didn't want just any old roll!

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

A Baker in Quaint Marblehead - Classic Limerick

A baker in quaint Marblehead
Raised his children on yeast, so he said
They were all so polite
That people guessed right
They must have been very well bread!

Monday, February 18, 2013

A Clever Giraffe - Vintage Limericks for Children

There once was a clever giraffe
Who at racing gave others the laugh
At the wire, it's said
He just stuck out his head
And won by three feet and a half!

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Taylor Swift Lament - Limerick Style

I hold my phone and wait
Sadly, it seems my fate
The agony! The sting!
It simply won't ring!
I can't seem to find a date.

Friday, February 15, 2013

A President's Day Limerick Riddle

When young, I surveyed a big gorge
I once led the troops at V. Forge
We beat the Brits
Into small tiny bits
And our country, we broke from King George.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

A Golden Pheasant Beer Limerick

It would make a mighty fine present
Memories of it are quite pleasant
It's easy to savor
The simple beer flavor
Of Dakota brewed Golden Pheasant.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Valentine's Day Limericks

The dove, to its mate, does coo
The bull, to his cow, does moo
This Valentine's Day
Please hear me say
That I really and truly love you.

A Limerick to my Valentine

There've been ups and downs, it is true
And it often appears I've no clue
This Valentine's Day
Just hear me say
That I really and truly love you.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

To My (Chaste) Valentine - Vintage Limericks

There was a young lady who couldn't
Endure anything that she shouldn't
Her halo was bright
And it fitted just right
Would you think she would please? - No she wouldn't.

Vintage Valentine Limerick Postcard - Prudence Gray

Miss Prudence Humility Gray
Has a cap that is sinfully gay
And if she should set it
O don't you forget it
'Twould be a great Valentine's Day.

Monday, February 11, 2013

A Candy Heart Valentine Limerick

Do you read those little, candy hearts?
Made for those who are struck by Cupid's darts?
Heed what they say,
This Valentine's Day
And you'll  learn all about the loving arts!

Pope Benedict Resigns

Can a pope ever really resign?
Is it part of God's larger design?
There might be some worry
But should be no hurry
The Catholic Church'll be fine.

Police Officer Limerick

The Policeman will always retreat
And foot it up some other street
Whene'er there's a fight
He's right out of sight
And not be found on his beat.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

A Valentine's Day - Advice From Cupid Limerick

If you don't want to spend your night cry'n
Remember your sweet Valentyin'
Please don't be stupid
Just listen to Cupid
A small gift with nice flowers should do fyin'

Young Love - Saturday Evening Post Valentine Limerick Contest

His heart flutters like a little white dove
In his pocket, his hand he does shove
He thinks he can hide
If he stands on the side
For the first time, young Luke is in love.

Rudyard Kipling Limerick - A Boy in Quebec

Vintage Kipling Limerick Postcard

There once was a boy in Quebec,
Who was buried in snow to his neck.
When asked, "Are you friz?"
He replied, "Yes, I is!
But we don't call this cold in Quebec."

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Robert Louis Stevenson Limerick - An Old Man of the Cape

There was an old man of the Cape
Who made himself garments of crepe.
When asked, "Do they tear?"
He replied, "Here and there,
But they're perfectly splendid for shape!"

Friday, February 8, 2013

A Lewis Carroll Limerick - Young Man of Oporta

There was a young man of Oporta
Who daily got shorter and shorter.
The reason, he said,
Was the hat on his head,
Which was filled with the heaviest mortar!

The College Girl

Of football she talks like a sport,
And rooting and cheering's her forte,
Whichever side wins,
She's sure of "frat" pins,
For she's really a very good sort.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

America's Teachers Preparing Students For Fortune And Fame!

Mrs. Boyers is this teacher's name
Making smart kids is her game
She gives them the ability
To use words with agility
And prepares them for fortune and fame!

Monday, February 4, 2013

A Composer Who Lived in the Ghetto - 1906 Vintage Limerick

A composer who lived in the ghetto,
Once wrote out a comic libretto;
When nobody sang it,
He said, "Oh well, hang it,
I'll sing it myself in falsetto!"

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Abraham Lincoln - President's Day Limerick

Lincoln was Illinois' greatest resident
That was proved by his time as president
- Kept the country together
Despite stormy weather
To do the right thing - never hesitant.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

A Camel Named Humphrey - Limericks for Kids

There is an old camel named Humphrey
He gives children rides that are bump free
"How," you might ask,
"Can he do such a task?"
He can because Humphrey is hump free.

Friday, February 1, 2013

GAELIC STORM at the NEWPORT MUSIC HALL! An Irish Music Limerick

If it's Irish music you need,
Your voracious hunger to feed,
Please have no fear,
The Newport's quite near,
Just get there with all proper speed.