Friday, March 27, 2015

An Old Gourmet Called Lamb - A Vintage Limerick

There was an old gourmet called Lamb
Who indulged in a weakness for hamb;
When they brought him some bacon,
He said, "You're mistaken,
For this stuff, I don't care a damb!"

Monday, March 23, 2015

Is Spring Going To Get Here Or Not - A Limerick

Is Spring going to get here or not?
It's not coming soon as it aught.
We all agree that
This cold needs to scat.
I want to be sweaty and hot!

Sunday, March 22, 2015

#TrueTeam - A Limerick

I heard the angelic choirs
Sing when UD beat the Friars.
So let's hear you scream
For the one and TrueTeam
Let's root on our young Dayton Flyers!

Monday, March 9, 2015

The Real Story of St. Patrick in Limerick Verse

poems for st. patricks day

Nothing but limericks I write
No subject’s too big or too trite
So here’s a true story
That isn’t too gory
About a young lad’s dreadful plight

In Scotland, did young Patrick dwell
His life was comfy and swell
Irish brigands did float
To his home in a boat
And took him to Ireland to sell

In Ireland, Pat was a slave
And he did his best to behave
He herded the swine
Till given a sign
And left without even a wave

To home, as fast as he could
He thought, was proper and good
But he had a vision
And made a decision –
Return to Ireland he would

For Patrick, this wasn’t a game
So first, a priest he became
He returned to the isle
With nary a smile
And focused on spreading Christ’s name

There were many bad serpents about
But Patrick had never a doubt
With force he did pray
Each and every day
And the devils and snakes he cast out

So party, green beer and all
But please do your best to recall
That Patrick’s the reason
For this happy season
As you finish your pub-to-pub crawl

Friday, March 6, 2015

Father of Triplets - Vinegar Valentine Limerick

The much-married man should not talk,
At strenuous duties ne'er balk,
When at two in the morn,
He takes his first born
(Whether triplets or twins) for a walk!

Monday, March 2, 2015

The Card Player - Vinegar Valentine Limerick

The card-playing maid is the "limit,"
Her mind's on the cards ev'ry minute;
     If she loses the prize,
     Oh, how deeply she sighs,
"'Tis so awful not to be in it!"

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Vintage St. Patrick's Day Limericks -1910 Likewise Limericks

For Saint Patrick, Mike wears a cravat,
Also proves for his saint he stands pat;
For you see at a glance,
At the base of his pants,
Where he wears on each foot a green spat.

The Sportsman - Vinegar Valentine Limerick Postcard

His outfit is quite up-to-date
And his guns of a pattern most late
He is a wonderful sport
Of the deadliest sort
But the rabbits and birds seem first-rate.