Monday, December 31, 2012

A Pretty Young Girl Named Tess - The Real Loch Ness Monster - Limericks For Children


There was a pretty, young girl named Tess
In Scotland she lived, no less
But she was nasty and mean - 
The worst you have seen
The Monster, she was, of Loch Ness.

Winter Limericks For Kids - A Penguin Named Grace



There once was a penguin named Grace
She slipped and she fell on her face
She walked to the doc
Then went into shock
So he put her bent bill in a brace.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON'S KINDLE STORE A Pirate Named Molly - 56 Limericks For Kids

A PIRATE NAMED MOLLY - 56 LIMERICKS FOR KIDS contains 56 all-new limericks targeted for kids in grades 3 through 6. The limericks range from the traditional There Once Was A Pirate Named Molly to the folklore inspired There Once Was A Naughty Young Shepherd. Holidays and nursery rhyme adaptations are also well represented.

Included are a How-To-Write-A-Limerick Guide and a Rhyming Word Cheat Sheet. These two tools can launch readers on their limerick writing journey. But whether or not readers write limericks, the goal is to have fun with words.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

There Once Was A Pious Young Priest - Vintage Limericks

There once was a pious young priest
Who lived almost wholly on yeast
"For," he said, "It is plain
We must all rise again
And I want to get started, at least."

Friday, December 28, 2012

Cream of Wheat Limerick - An Infant Named Ethelbert Wyatt

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An infant named Ethelbert Wyatt,
For the first solid food in his diet,
Got smo-o-o-th "Cream of Wheat"
Said he, "It's replete
With flavor and nourishment, try it!"

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Lear Classics - There Was An Old Person Of Bree (Not The Bree In The Shire)

There was an old person of Bree,
Who frequented the depths of the sea;
She nurs'd the small fishes,
And washed all the dishes,
And swam back again into Bree.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Rudolph Had A Nose That Was Red - Christmas Limerick For Kids

Rudolph had a nose that was red
And he heard what the other deer said
But the weather was bad
And Santa just had
To use Rudolph to guide his old sled.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

The Night Before Christmas - A Limerick

The stockings were hung with care
With hope St. Nick would be there
All those in the house
(Including the mouse)
Went to bed with a heart-felt prayer.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Nat King Cole - Christmas Song Limerick

There once was a chestnut named Nat
In the middle of the fire he sat
He sang and he boasted
About how he was roasted
And we've all heard the song about that!

Friday, December 21, 2012

Frosty The Snowman - A Limerick

Frosty was a magical snowman
With his hat, he really could go, man
As the weather got hot
Though, the smaller he got
Until, at last, there was no man.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Smart Little Kid - A Bicycle Postcard Limerick

There once was a smart little kid
Whose bike went astray on a skid
The bystanders heard
Just one little word - 
It's a pity they did - but they did.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

We Three Kings - Christmas Limerick Style

We kings of Orient are
With gifts we travel afar
Field and fountain
Moor and mountain
Following yonder star

Born on Bethlehem's plain
I've gold to crown him again
King forever
Ceasing never
Over us all to reign

Incense to offer have I
To honor a deity nigh
Prayer and praising
All men raising
Worship him God most high

Myrrh is bitter perfume
It breathes of gathering gloom
Sorrowing, sighing
Bleeding, dying
Sealed in the stone-cold tomb

So glorious behold him rise
King, and God, and Sacrifice
Alleluia
Alleluia
Earth to heaven replies

O wondrous star of night
With royal beauty bright
Westward leading
Still proceeding
Show us the Perfect Light

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Saturday Evening Post Limerick Contest

Our man George had a bit of a frown,
As he stood in his barely closed gown,
He checked the diploma,
Of young Doctor Roma,
He surely did miss old Doc Brown.

Monday, December 17, 2012

A Snowball Named Jill - Winter Limericks For Kids

There once was a snowball named Jill
She wanted to roll down the hill
Down from the top
She never did stop
I suppose she is rolling down still.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The Bells Are Boldly Ringing - Christmas Limerick

The bells are boldly ringing
The choirs - triumphantly singing
The earth resounds
With heavenly sounds
And Christ - peace and joy is bringing.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

The Hobbit Movie - An Unexpected Journey Limerick

Was Bilbo a lad from the Shire,
Or was he a burglar for hire?
He passed the test
In Part 1 of the quest
But next is the dragon's fire.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Winter Limericks For Kids - A Fir Tree Named Doug

There once was a fir tree named Doug
He bore the north wind with a shrug
With nothing to show
But a blanket of snow
He was snug as a bug in a rug.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

An Elf Named Molly - Christmas Limericks For Kids

There once was an elf named Molly
She braided her hair with holly
She helped Santa make toys
For good girls and boys
Her favorite - a drinks and wets dolly.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

St. Nicholas Brings Pleasure - A Santa Claus Limerick Poem

I know that St. Nick brings pleasure
To all, in bounteous measure
And I hope you're there
When he calls with your share
And you receive your Christmas treasure.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Advice From Churchill - A Limerick







If you're walking through hell, keep going,
The embers around, they'll keep glowing,
Don't stop on your trek,
Eyes forward, don't wreck,
The pain that you feel is you growing.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Santa Checking His List - A Christmas Limerick For Children

There once was a boy named Cole
He mailed his list to the Pole
But he fought with his brother
And lied to his mother
So Santa just gave him some coal.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

A Prohibition Limerick - Down With Liquor!

This female, whose one inspiration
Was that rum meant eternal damnation
Put our town on the blink
In her campaign on drink
And we dried up from liquid starvation.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Bells O'er Belfast - A Christmas Limerick (With a Nod to the Irish Rovers)

When you hear the bells o'er Belfast
You pray that the peace there will last
Perhaps the bells' pealing
Will help with the healing
And the past will remain in the past.

Joys of Cigarettes - A Limerick Poem

May your cares disappear in the ashes
Or into the dim clouds ascend
Thus may all strife
Depart from your life
And enjoyment be yours to the end

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Women's Suffrage - An Impertinent Limerick

There was an old man who said - How
Shall I flee from this horrible cow?
I will sit on this stile
And continue to smile
Which may soften the heart of this cow

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

If He Acts Like A Nasty Old Grinch (A Christmas Limerick)

If he acts like a nasty old grinch,
And the sight of him makes you flinch,
Treat him with kindness,
Perhaps you will mind less,
Though his heart grows not even an inch.

Monday, December 3, 2012

A Christmas Donkey Named Ranger - Christmas Limericks For Kids

There once was a donkey named Ranger
He sensed there was some sort of danger
He ran to the stable
As quickly as able
And saw Jesus born in the manger.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

A Rascal Named Paul - Christmas Limericks For Children


A clever young rascal named Paul
Thought he'd capture St. Nick, pack and all;
He plastered with glue
Both the fireplace and flue -
But Santa came in through the hall!

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Girls Are Mad On The Tango - Dance Limerick Poetry

We girls are all mad on the TANGO
In this dance we certainly CAN GO
To get the steps right
We must be hugged tight
So we can't (if we would) let the MAN GO.