Saturday, January 7, 2017

An Old Miser Named Clarence - Classic Ogden Nash Limerick


There was an old miser named Clarence, 
Who simonized both of his parents. 
"The initial expense," 
He remarked, "is immense, 
But I'll save it on wearance and tearance."

Saturday, December 17, 2016

An Elf Named Rory - Christmas Limerick Poem for Kids

There was a vain elf named Rory
Who wanted to hog all the glory
He claimed with much noise
That he made all the toys
But we know that wasn't the story.

The Reason for the Season - A Christmas Limerick

I hope that your Christmas is merry
And your jolly St. Nick is hairy
But remember the reason 
For this joyous season
Is Jesus, and Joseph, and Mary.

From A Pirate Named Molly, copyright 2013, Randy Imwalle

Friday, December 9, 2016

Santa Is Checking His List - Christmas Limerick for Kids

A father told his son to go, go, go,
To his room to clean it but no, no, no,
The boy, he refused,
And the dad, not confused,
Said, "I guess that there'll be no ho, ho, ho!"

Saturday, November 26, 2016

An Elf Named Bing (Crosby) - A White Christmas Limerick


There was an old elf named Bing
He was good at only one thing
He was clumsy with tools
And broke all the rules
But boy could he sing, sing, sing.

Friday, November 25, 2016

A Sleigh Bell Named Tingle - Christmas Limerick

There was a young sleigh bell named Tingle
She loved to ring and to jingle
She shined herself bright
'Cause on Christmas Eve night
She'll be on the sled of Kris Kringle.

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Sweet Potatoes for Thanksgiving - Limericks for Kids

There once was a spud named Slater
She was orange, and sweet, and greater
Than those little brown tots
That Idaho gots
So I buttered her up and ate 'er.

E.B. White Limerick - Minneapolis Journal Contest

A young man who liked to rock boats
In order to get people's goats
Gave just one more rock
Then suffered a shock
A bubble the spot now denotes.

Friday, November 18, 2016

Don't Shop on Thanksgiving Day! A Thanksgiving Limerick

thanksgiving boycott
I find it a little bit odd.
In fact, I think it's a fraud.
When the obvious reason,
For Thanksgiving season,
Is to sit down and give thanks to God.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

A Turkey Named Stephen - Thanksgiving Limericks for Kids

Thanksgiving 2016
There was a young turkey named Stephen
Who saw all the turkey moms grievin'
Their jennys and jakes*
Were served on big plates
So he yelled, "Hold the door, I'm leavin'!"

*A jenny is a young, female turkey,
A jake is a young, male turkey.

Friday, November 4, 2016

How To Cook A Turkey - A Thanksgiving Turkey Recipe Limerick

How To Cook A Turkey - A Thanksgiving Turkey Recipe Limerick
Well first you need a big turkey
From there it gets a bit murky
To stuff it or not?
And make sure that it's hot!
But cook it too long and it's jerky.

Saturday, October 29, 2016

What Do You Want To Be For Halloween? Limericks for Kids

There was a young girl named Sophia,
She wanted, so bad, to be a,
Soft shell of wheat
That was yummy to eat,
So she dressed as a home-made tortilla.

Elvis Presley Skeleton Limerick for Halloween

A skeleton, I saw, that dark night
But it gave me no fear and no fright
With its wiggly pelvis
I knew it was Elvis
And he sang his first song - That's All Right.

Saturday, October 22, 2016

A Skeleton Named Benny - Halloween Poems for Kids

There once was a skeleton named Benny
He purchased green soap for a penny
When his mom asked him why
He started to cry
'Cause for skin, he didn't have any!

Monday, October 17, 2016

A Blind Bat Named Dale - Halloween Limerick for Kids

There was a blind bat named Dale
His radar he used without fail
Then one autumn day
His skill went away
So he spent all his time learning braille.

Friday, October 14, 2016

Creepy Clown Halloween Limerick

Creepy Clown Halloween Limerick
There once was a clown named Jeepy
Who was happy, but tired and sleepy
Yet every night
He gave kids a fright -
When darkness fell he turned creepy!

Friday, October 7, 2016

A Skeleton Named Greg - Halloween Limerick Poem for Children


There once was a skeleton named Greg
Who did not complain, whine or beg
He looked at his feet
Then felt incomplete
And said help me find my left leg.


Sunday, September 18, 2016

A Halloween Pumpkin Limerick

She cannot believe what she's seen,
With the grass in the field still green.
She turned back around
And looked at the ground -
The pumpkins, they spelled "Halloween"!

Monday, August 15, 2016

Drool at School Isn't Cool - A Limerick for School Kids (Get some sleep)



It's now time to go back to school
You don't want to look like a fool
You're sure to do best
If you get lots of rest
Or you might fall asleep and then drool.

The First Day of School- A Limerick Poem for Parents

The parents are dancing with glee
They're happy as happy can be
The kids? Full of sorrow
For school starts tomorrow
Their weekdays are no longer free.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

There Was a Young Lady Whose Bonnet - Vintage Limerick Postcard

There was a young lady whose bonnet
Came untied when the birds sat upon it
But she said, "I don't care
All the birds of the air
Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!"

Saturday, July 23, 2016

The Hot Headed Man - Vintage Limerick Postcard

Aeronauts in vain every way
To soar have tried far away
Yet there's the hot headed man
Who gets sore and who can
Fly in a rage every day.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Pokemon GO Limerick Poem

This craze called Pokemon GO
Is quickly stealing the show
Folks never outside
Leave their houses with pride
And wander around to-and-fro.

Saturday, July 16, 2016

A Sherlock Holmes - Hound of the Baskervilles Limerick

You've heard of the Baskerville Hound
Spreading fear on the moor all around
The dog's nightly baying
Had good people saying
"I can't stand that blood-chilling sound!"

Sunday, June 12, 2016

CSI Limerick



A suspect had planned to come clean

Re: the evidence found at the scene


His lawyer urged silence

Concerning the violence


CSI then, the facts, had to glean.

Thursday, June 2, 2016

An Old Woman of Wilts - Vintage Limerick Postcard

There was an old woman of Wilts
Who went up to Scotland on stilts
When they said, "Oh how shocking
To show so much stocking."
She replied, "You should see me in kilts!"

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Five Ducks Lined Up In A Row - A Limerick

There were five ducks lined up in a row
But they didn't know where they should go
Flapped this way and that 
With many a quack
Got tix for the eight o'clock show.

Friday, May 20, 2016

The Matinee Girl - Vintage Vinegar Valentine Limerick Postcard

The matinee girl always sighs
And murmurs, "Oh, how the time flies!"
She calls the show "neat,"
Thinks the leading man "sweet,"
And raves o'er his "glorious eyes!"

Sunday, May 15, 2016

For Sale - One Brown and White Cow - Limericks for Kids

For Sale! One brown and white cow
She won't pull a cart or a plow
But feed her fresh hay
And two times a day
She'll give chocolate milk - but how?

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

World War II - War Bonds - Liberty Limericks - 1944

A chef who knew lots about dough
Said, "So far, we've raised it too slow-
We'll beat Hitler when
One dollar in ten
Is put into War Bonds - Let's go!"

Friday, April 22, 2016

A Selfish Young Boy Named Garrett - Limericks for Children


A selfish young boy named Garrett
Did grow a three-foot-long carrot
A bunny begged, "Please?"
But G. said with ease,
"There's simply no way I will share it!"

Monday, April 4, 2016

A Vote for Donald or Cruz - A John Kasich Victory Limerick

Kasich Trumps Clinton
A vote for Donald or Cruz
Is a sure-fired way to lose
John Kasich's the man
With the Victory Plan
He'll give H. Clinton the blues.

Thursday, March 31, 2016

It's Spring! Let's Play Ball - A Baseball Limerick



We've not heard this sound since last fall,
The winter, has cast its gray pall,
Spring is now here,
Grab a dog and a beer,
And wait for the shout, "Play Ball!"

Monday, February 29, 2016

Only John Kasich Can Trump Hillary in November - A Limerick

Arnold Schwarzenegger endorses John Kasich for President.  Taken at the Franklin Park Conservatory in Columbus, Ohio, USA on March 6, 2016.

The Debates have been quite the spectacle
But we need someone who's respectable
John Kasich's the man
With the Beat Clinton Plan
Let's vote for the one who's electable.

Saturday, February 27, 2016

John Kasich for President - A Limerick Poem

When voting for the U.S. President
The White House's very next resident
The answer is basic
Just vote for John Kasich
With this good advice I'm not hesitant.

Friday, February 26, 2016

Won't You Come Up To Limerick? A Limerick

How do you get there, you query?
To find out you simply ask Siri.
Limerick's the name
Of the town that's your aim.
But is this the way? I'm leery.