Vintage Cow Limerick - Zephyr

A farmer once called his cow "Zephyr,"
She seemed such an amiable heifer.
When the farmer drew near
She kicked off his ear,
And now he is very much deafer.

A Nervous Flyer Limerick

I'm in a tin can in the sky
I sure hope this plane can fly
Thrust, drag, and lift
With winds that are swift -
I'm glad I kissed Lisa goodbye!

Boy On Trapeze - Saturday Evening Post Limerick Contest

Brother was gliding with ease
On his backyard flying trapeze
When Dolly he took
Young Sis couldn't look
As Dolly sailed on the breeze.

A Boy Named Josh - Limericks for Kids

There once was a boy named Josh
He thought that he was pretty posh
But his problem was clear
To all who were near
His armpits did need a good wash!

A Gorilla Named Drusilla - Limerick for Children

There is now a mama gorilla
Her friends all call her Drusilla
You should hear her scream
When she eats her ice cream
Her favorite flavor? Vanilla!

Culver, Indiana - Classic Limerick Postcard

Well, here I am in Culver, Ind.
Enjoying its sights and cheer
Everything's great
And I'm feeling first rate
But O, how I wish you were here!

Burt's New Hat - Limerick Postcard

Toff Burt - to-day bought a new hat
Hung it up - whilst to luncheon he sat
When he arose, it was gone
So its loss he did mourn
And put up with one neigh batter'd flat

The Throne Room - A Toilet Limerick

I come here to sit and think,
I usually don't mind the stink,
But when it gets bad,
I am really glad,
That out of here I can slink.

Othello - Shakespeare in Limerick

There once was a man named Othello
An outrageously jealous old fellow
When they told him some lies
Quite green turned his eyes
And like a great bull he did bellow

A Girl Named Julie - A Limerick

There was a young girl named Julie
She fell in love madly and truly
But her beau Bart
Broke her poor heart
He treated her badly and cruelly.

Perloo and the Zombie - A Hallowe'en Limerick

It sure was one heckova scene
At the party held last Hallowe'en
The zombie was told
By Perloo the Bold
To give back Godiva her spleen.

Mary Pary Pinder - Classic Children's Limerick

Mary Pary Pinder

Peeped through the winder

Mother come

And smacked her bum

And cut her little finger

A Space Between Every Word - A Handwriting Limerick

A space between every word
Is the rule that we always heard
This rule is good
Obey it, you should
Causewordsruntogetherareblurred.

I Can Stare If I Want To

A child may look at its mother
A man may look at his brother
A cat at a queen
A kid at a dean
And we may all look at each other!

The Old Man Is Snoring

It's raining quite hard - it's pouring
The tired old man is snoring
Got into bed
And bumped his head
And couldn't get up in the morning!

The Hobbit - A Limerick

A hobbit who lived in the Shire
Liked to sit before his warm fire
So then just imagine
When he saw the dragon
In a rage, full of wrath and of ire.

A Cincinnati Reds - Joey Votto Limerick

The Reds have a player, we know,
Who alone can steal the show,
Having J. Votto,
Beats winning the Lotto,
To the Series, it's next that they'll go!

Limerick - Play Ball!

We've not heard this sound since last fall,

The winter, has cast its gray pall,

Spring is now here,

Grab a dog and a beer,

And wait for the shout, "Play Ball!"

The Cannibal's Pot - A Limerick

A fellow was in a fine stew
And he did not know what to do
It was getting hot
In the cannibal's pot
If he didn't get out he was through.

A Limerick A Day?

I remember hearing me say,
"I will post a new limerick each day."
Yeah, I missed a few
So here's what I'll do
I'll put this one up if I may.

A LEGO Limerick

A kid was trying to stack
His LEGOS - red, yellow and black
Though his effort was great
He could not lay them straight
His tower was way out-of-whack.

Now Available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Createspace - Limericks for Children

There once was a guy named Randy
He thought rhyming words were dandy
His young daughter Kate?
Her pictures were great!
They hope that you keep their book handy.

Now available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Createspace.

A Vintage Riddle Limerick - In Summer . . .

In summer much clothing I wear
Birds all love to nest in my hair
But when cold it grows
I throw off my clothes
And sleep in the frigid night air.

Minnie McFinney - Vintage Limerick

Miss Minnie McFinney of Butte
Fed always and only, on frutte.
Said she, "Let the coarse
Eat of beef and of horse
I'm a peach, and that's all there is tutte."

Win A Free Copy of A PIRATE NAMED MOLLY at Goodreads

If you want to win a free book
At this link, you must take a look
Win A PIRATE NAMED MOLLY
And make yourself jolly
It'll be worth the time that it took!

Here's Hoping The Cincinnati Reds Don't Lose Their Opener!

Yes, baseball is finally here
Today's the first game of the year
Let's root for a win
'Cause it'd be a sin
If they lost and can't open the beer!

A PIRATE NAMED MOLLY - 56 Limericks for Kids - Now Available in Paperback on Amazon

Did you hear the kids' ear-splitting cheer?
The paperback's finally here
A PIRATE NAMED MOLLY
Is ready, by golly
Please order a copy, my dear!

Available on Amazon and CreateSpace.

The Sneeze - A Limerick Classic

Now the sneeze is a joy-vent, I s'pose
When you're tickled to death in your nose
A pleasing explosion
Creating erosion-
But you want to watch out where it goes.

The Brain - A Limerick Classic

To manage and keep up a brain
Is no easy job, it is plain
That's why a great many
Don't ever use any
Thus avoiding the care and the strain.

Young Lady of Twickenham - Classic Limericks

There was a young lady of Twickenham
Whose boots were too tight to walk quick in 'em.
When she came from her walk
She was whiter than chalk;
So she took off her boots and was sick in 'em.

Miss Flynn - Classic Limerick

There was a young lady, Miss Flynn,
Who, being exceedingly thin,
When she lately essayed
To drink lemonade
Tumbled down through the straw, and fell in.

March Madness with Thad Matta and the Ohio State Buckeyes

The Bucks are coached by The Thadness,
He fills the fans with much gladness,
And now starts the journey,
The end of year tourney,
Otherwise known as March Madness.

A Cowboy Limerick

There was a young man from the west
Who purchased a swell fancy vest
When he walked down the street
Every one he would meet
Would give him a nod and a jest.

The Conclave - A Pope Francis Limerick

The Conclave was very serious
Holy, regal -- mysterious
When up went white smoke
And we had a new pope
Argentina became quite delirious.

The Election of Pope Francis - A Limerick

There certainly was much commotion
Though it seemed things moved in slow motion
Two-thirds finally chose
A man in brown clothes
And the cardinal got a promotion!

A Good Friday - Easter Miracle Limerick

When the guilt of sin does seize us,
We should turn to our brother, Jesus,
His death on the cross,
Was truly a loss,
But the miracle on Easter - it frees us.