Sunday, September 14, 2014

An Old Man of the Dee - Vintage Edward Lear Limerick

There was an Old Man of the Dee,
Who was sadly annoyed by a Flea;
When he said, "I will scratch it!"
They gave him a hatchet,
Which grieved that Old Man of the Dee.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Spooks Upon Halloween Night - Vintage Limerick Postcard

If your conduct is proper and right
Then the Spooks upon Halloween Night
Should they happen to call
Will not harm you at all
And witches will quickly take flight.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

A Jock from the Town of Dundee - A Sarony Cigarettes Limerick

A "Jock" from the town of Dundee
Wore his kilts rather high from the knee
Of course you conclude
It was frightfully rude
But his mother still dresses him - see?

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Win a Free Copy of A PUMPKIN NAMED LILLY on Goodreads!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

A Pumpkin Named Lilly by Randy Imwalle

A Pumpkin Named Lilly

by Randy Imwalle

Giveaway ends September 12, 2014.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Friday, August 22, 2014

Waiting in line at Ohio State - A Financial Aid Limerick

I stand in the line and wait.
Curious to learn my fate.
Will my loan be approved?
Or am I removed
From the rolls of O-hi-o State?

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Puffin Muffin Limerick for Kids

There once was a silly young puffin
Who stuck his bill in a muffin
To his surprise
It covered his eyes
And he said, "Now I can't see nuffin."

Monday, August 11, 2014

Ohio State vs. Navy - August 30, 2014

The Bucks play Navy in Baltimore
D'you think they'll need the ball to score?
Or will their D
Be all that they need
To make the Midshipmen crawl to shore?

Saturday, August 9, 2014

How Tough is Jimmy Fallon? A Limerick

There's a man in New York named Fallon
Five nights a week he is palin'
With models and actors
And guys on green tractors
But can he defeat a young Shaolin?

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Don't Worry, It's Just A Fruit Bat

There is a young bat named Carrie
At first, she looks a bit scary
But oh, she is quiet
And the food in her diet
Is an orange, an peach, and a berry.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Danger - Thin Ice - Keep Off!

They warn that the ice is all thin
And they don't  want us all to fall in
But it's 90 degrees
Without any breeze
So I think what I'll do is crawl in.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Disability Parking - Heed the Sign!

Please heed the blue and white sign
With the cool stick-figure design.
Be well-behaved
- That space, it is saved
Or face a big, hefty fine.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

A PUMPKIN NAMED LILLY - 56 Limericks for Kids is now available on Amazon!

A PUMPKIN NAMED LILLY is the second book in Randy Imwalle's 56 LIMERICKS FOR KIDS series, following A PIRATE NAMED MOLLY. A PUMPKIN NAMED LILLY contains 56 all-new limericks. The limericks range from the traditional There Once Was A Boy Named Josh to the nursery-rhyme inspired The First Piggy Went To The Store. Holiday limericks include A Pumpkin Named Lilly. Riddle limericks include I'm Green When I Pop In The Spring. 

Many of the limericks are impertinent, it goes with the genre. Some end in tragedy, while others are nonsense. All of the limericks will make a kid think - about words, about choices, and about consequences. 

Also included are a How-To-Write-A-Limerick Guide and a Rhyming-Word Cheat Sheet. These two tools make writing limericks easy and fun for kids and adults - Randy uses the Cheat Sheet every day!

Sunday, July 27, 2014

For Irish Music Addicts - The Dublin Irish Festival

If it's Irish music you need,
Your endless hunger to feed,
Please have no fear,
Dublin O. is quite near,
Just get there with all proper speed.

Kerry Bog Pony Limerick - See A Bog Pony at the Dublin Irish Festival!

If you have a small burden to carry
And you don't mind a beast that is hairy
Then this you must heed
With all proper speed,
"Get a tough pony from Kerry."

Thursday, July 24, 2014

An American Pickers Wannabe Limerick

I dream of becoming a picker,
Of making my billfold thicker.
I want to be like
Those guys, Frank and Mike,
And bargain, and haggle, and dicker.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Lewis Carroll Limerick - Lucy O'Finner

His sister, called Lucy O’Finner,
Grew constantly thinner and thinner;
The reason was plain,
She slept out in the rain,
And was never allowed any dinner.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Tuck Limerick Postcard - The Bookkeeper

Sending statements out in a hurry
Makes the bookkeeper fret and flurry
For to tally amounts
With his ledger accounts
Is a source of continual worry.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Sometimes I Sit And I Ponder

Sometimes I sit and I ponder,
What's out in the wide world yonder,
Though it's the same air,
Is the grass greener there?
Soon, just perhaps, I will wander.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

There Was A Tough Sheriff Named Schlutter - Limericks for Kids

There was a tough sheriff named Schlutter
He fancied himself a great shooter
But when push came to shove
He was meek as a dove
And he pushed himself home on his scooter.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Antony and Cleopatra - Shakespeare in Limerick Poem

There was an Egyptian queen
The fairest, they say, ever seen
But though she was pretty
And also was witty
She was most unaccountably mean.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Hamlet - Shakespeare in Limerick

There once was a gloomy young Dane
Who all frolic and fun did disdain
In his dictionary
You couldn't find "merry"
And "pleasure" defined he as "pain"

Friday, June 20, 2014

All's Well That Ends Well - Shakespeare in Limerick

There once was a girl they called Helen
And she was in trouble, yes, well in
But though in so tight
She got out all right
So it didn't much matter she fell in

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Lear Classic Limerick - Old Man of the South

There was an Old Man of the South
Who had an immoderate mouth
But in swallowing a dish
That was quite full of Fish
He was choked, that Old Man of the South.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

The Doctor - He Comes To See You When You're Ill

He comes to see you when you're ill,
He gives you powder, dose and pill,
Your tongue consults,
Then feels your pulse,
And he is always "dressed to kill!"

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Shrum Indian Mound - A Limerick

There's an Indian Mound called Shrum
It is close to where I am from
So one day I went
And energy I spent
And now I can say it I clumb

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Scottish Dental Surgeon Limerick - Harmsworth 1930

A cunning old dentist of Leith
Was speaking on "profits from teeth."
He said, "When they're bad
I stop 'em begad!
Then I loosen 'em more underneath!"

Monday, June 9, 2014

Vintage Dachshund Limerick - Harmsworth 1930

A care-free young dachshund at Looe
Once bit a rear-admiral in two
Then smiled, "Bless my heart!
That's not a bad start,
And I've got the whole afternoon too!"

Friday, June 6, 2014

They Flapped In A V Formation - A Goose Limerick

They flapped in a V formation
On the way to their winter vacation
When the icy winds blew
Due south they all flew
And they honked in keen exhortation

Thursday, June 5, 2014

There Was A Young Man Of Killarney - Vintage Irish Limerick

There was a young man of Killarney
Who was chock full of what is called blarney
He would sit on a stile
And tell lies by the mile
Would this dreadful young man of Killarney

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

I've Got No Pajamas For Bed . . . - Statler Hotel Advertising Limerick

"I've got no pajamas for bed . . ."
Sighed a guest, but our clerk proudly said,
"Take this overnight kit,
There's pajamas in it-
. . . Would you like a nice nightshirt instead?"

Sunday, May 25, 2014

A Memorial Day Limerick

We're sitting here tweeting and friending,
So let's just stop all the pretending,
The freedoms we use,
Are easy to lose,
So honor those who've died defending.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Does Anything Rhyme With "Orange"? - Two Limericks

"Orange" is a hard word to rhyme
I think of it all of the time
Although Eminem
Does claim five of them
"Door hinge" is simply a crime
I stared at the squeaky, old door hinge
The hue of a rotting old orange
I jumped out of the way
When I heard it say
"My name is Sir Edward G. Porrindge."

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Man In Atchison Vintage Limerick Postcard

There was a man in Atchison
Whose trousers had rough patchison
He found them great
He'd often state
To scratch those parlor matchison.