A St. Patrick's Day Limerick

That Patrick, he is a great one,
His staff, it's surely a straight one,
He drives out the snakes,
While good Christians he makes,
Of Ireland, he is the patron.

A SMITHWICK'S ST. PATRICK'S DAY LIMERICK

'Tis sure I'll be wearing the green,
When the calendar says March seventeen,
To help me to think,
It Smithwick's I drink,
Just try some, you'll know what I mean.

A HARP LAGER ST. PATRICK'S DAY LIMERICK

'Tis sure I'll be wearing the green,
When the calendar says March seventeen,
I'll drink a few Harp,
'Til my wits become sharp,
Just try some, you'll know what I mean.

A GUINNESS ST. PATRICK'S DAY LIMERICK

'Tis sure we'll be wearing the green,
When the calendar says March seventeen,
We'll be happy when in us,
Are pints of black Guinness,
Try some, you'll know what we mean.

GAELIC STORM at the NEWPORT MUSIC HALL!

If it's Irish music you need,

Your voracious hunger to feed,

You should have no fear,

The Newport's quite near,

Just get there with all proper speed.

Please Be Mine! A Valentine's Limerick

There've been ups and down, it is true
And it sometimes appears I've no clue
So on Valentine's Day
Just let me say
That I really and truly love you.

A Valentine's Day - Advice From Cupid Limerick

If you don't want to spend your night cry'n
Remember your sweet Valentyin'
Please don't be stupid
Just listen to Cupid
A small gift with nice flowers should do fyin'

DUBLIN IRISH FESTIVAL HAS THE SECRET TO BEAT SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER!

There is a good man in this town,
But the cold and the snow brings him down,
His memories - the best,
The Dub Irish Fest,
Recalling - he loses the frown.

A Nasty Old Grinch - Christmas Limerick

If he acts like a nasty old grinch,
And the sight of him makes you flinch,
Treat him with kindness,
Perhaps you will mind less,
Though his heart grows not even an inch.

An Angel Named Sue - Christmas Limerick

There was a young angel named Sue
To the loftiest pine tree she flew
When she got to the top
She decided to stop -
She had the most fabulous view.

An Elf Named Izzy - Christmas Limerick

There once was an elf named Izzy
He said making toys made him dizzy
So he sat on his bed
And ate stale bread
He's not a good helper now, is he?

A Reindeer Named Charlie - Christmas Limerick

There once was a reindeer named Charlie
He love to eat oats and barley
He said with a sigh
I'm too big to fly
As he scooted around on his Harley.

An Reindeer Named Brian - Limerick

There once was a reindeer named Brian
He was found in the barn loudly cryin'
When asked why so sad
He replied that he had
A logical fear of flyin'.

An Elf Named Gertrude - Limerick

There once was an elf named Gertrude
She had a big problem with her 'tude
So Santa did say
She must go away
Until she appears in a good mood.

A Christmas Elf Limerick

There once was an elf named Harriet
She gathered the deer with a lariat
When she rounded up eight
She lined them up straight
And hooked them to Santa's chariot.

A Snowman Limerick

There once was a snowman named Scott
He didn't feel well when hot
He was having fun
When out came the sun
And now our friend Scott is not!

A Christmas Limerick - Reindeer Named Joe

There once was a reindeer named Joe
But he'd one little problem, you know
He said there's no way
He could pull Santa's sleigh
He was deathly afraid of the snow!

The Reason for the Season - Christmas Limerick

I hope that your Christmas is merry,
And your jolly St. Nick is hairy,
But remember the reason,
for this joyous season,
Is Jesus, and Joseph, and Mary.

An Urban Meyer Limerick

The Bucks have hired U. Meyer
Thus sating Buck Nation's desire
His record is great
But the question of late -
Is does he still have the fire?

An Ohio State - Michigan Limerick

 
 
There once was a team from  Michigan
To beat OSU was its wish again
But losing eight straight
Was likely its fate
That vict'ry, those boys, they will miss again.

Thanksgiving Turkey Limerick

Dark clouds may overcast the Sun
The day be dark and murky
But you will find
If not too blind
Sunshine around each Turkey

Another Thanksgiving Limerick

The cost of good living is greater,
Said a gentleman out in Decatur,
When Thanksgiving came round,
On inquiry I found,
He had dined on string beans and potater.

Joe Paterno Limerick

Penn State is led by Joe Pa
The question - what did you know Pa
It is common knowledge
That some in State College
Are pleading, Say It Ain't So Pa

A Thanksgiving Limerick

Said a smart chicken "turk" to his mother,
The people cry, "Love one another!"
But they'll eat us, you'll see -
You and Father and Me,
And likewise my Sister and Brother.

An Olde Halloween Limerick

Said a Bat to an Owl in an oak-
"This Halloween Night is a joak!"
And that wise-looking bird
Replied: "Yes, it's absird,
I was thinking so when I awoak."

Linus, Sally, and the Great Pumpkin - A Halloween Limerick

Our Linus and Sally did wait
In the patch, for the Pumpkin, Great
But as Sally feared
It never appeared
And a candy-less night was their fate.

There Once Was A Vampy Old Witch - Halloween Limerick

There once was a vampy old witch,
The thought of her near made me twitch,
But she had a nice twin,
With a similar grin,
My thought? Which witch was which?

Witch's Brew - Halloween Limerick

Bedazzled by the likes of you

So charmed by all you say and do

On Halloween Day

You blew me away

Heck. . . blame it on the witch's brew!

The Guillotine v. Lethal Injection

Botched lethal injections have taught us

We need A Proposal, Modest

If you need someone dead
Just cut off his head

Let's use the machine the French brought us.

An Ohio State - Miami Football Limerick

This week the Bucks play the 'Canes
For both - there've been many pains
Folks intelligible
Call this the Ineligi-bowl
Reputations for both - full of stains.

An Ohio State - Toledo Football Limerick

Their hands they keep in their pockets
This team that they call the Rockets
They'll go to the 'Shoe
In their helmets of blue
Watch their eyes pop out of their sockets.

An Ohio State - Akron Limerick

The forecast from this old fan's lips
This week when the Bucks host the Zips
Won't coat it with saccharine
We'll whup up on Akron
Unless our young team gets the yips.

A DUBLIN IRISH FESTIVAL STOUT LIMERICK

The Day - it's finally here,
The men - they're chillin' the beer,
To fix what is troublin' ya',
Get over to Dublin ya',
The cure - a pint of good cheer!

Scythian - Dublin Irish Festival

They're not from Ireland, I know,
But you simply must see their show,
Blow your mind to oblivion,
This band they call Scythian,
So on to Dublin, let's go!

A LIMERICK FOR IRISH MUSIC ADDICTS - GAELIC STORM

If it's Irish music you need,
Your voracious hunger to feed,
You should have no fear,
Dublin O is quite near,
Just get there with all proper speed.

THANKS TO KILLIAN'S FOR SUPPORTING THE DUBLIN IRISH FESTIVAL

Here now's a short little tale

Concerning a tasty red ale

The name - it's Killian's

Its fans - there's millions

Buy it where fine beer's for sale.

A Gaelic Storm - Dublin Irish Festival Limerick

This news, it could be troublin'

Strong weather, it seems, is bubblin'

Bring yer wellies and coat

Maybe even a boat

The Storm is coming to Dublin!

Uncle Sam - Fourth of July Limerick.

There is now this grand old guy
His birthday's the Fourth of July
His name's Uncle Sam
And he does give a damn
His spirit you cannot deny.

A Dublin Irish Festival - The Tossers Limerick

I really don't care what you thunk
The best bands are Irish and punk
The Tossers, e.g.
Are a band you must see
And it's completely your choice to be drunk.

A Sad, But Necessary Day - Jim Tressel Resigns

The Captain of the Bucks' football vessel,
With his conscience he surely did wrestle,
He did break a rule,
So for the good of the school,
Our coach is no longer Jim Tressel.

A Memorial Day Limerick

We're sitting here tweeting and friending,
So let's just stop all the pretending,
The freedoms we use,
Are easy to lose,
So honor those who've died defending.

SAY IT AIN'T SO JIM! A Jim Tressel Limerick

Some folks think Tressel's a liar,
I say there's smoke and there's fire,
With Herbie now gone,
"For Sale" in his lawn,
Maybe Kirk'll sell his house to U. Meyer.

A Good Friday - Easter Limerick

When the guilt of sin does seize us,
We should turn to our brother, Jesus,
His death on the cross,
Was truly a loss,
But the miracle on Easter - it frees us.

A Longview Barber Shop Limerick

If you find that your head is too hairy,
And the look you present is too scary,
Do what the strong do -
Get over to Longview,
And see Jeremy, Dave, Nick or Merry.

A Cincinnati Reds - Joey Votto Limerick

The Reds have a player, we know,
Who alone can steal the show,
Having J. Votto,
Beats winning the Lotto,
To the Series, it's next that they'll go!

Thad Matta

The Bucks are coached by The Thadness,
He fills the fans with much gladness,
And now starts the journey,
The end of year tourney,
Otherwise known as March Madness.



Ash Wednesday Limerick

Today is the first day of Lent,
It's time for all souls to repent,
And with His good grace,
It's He that you'll face,
And you'll know what His sacrifice meant.



The Irish Trilogy - Part Three - Smithwick's Limerick

'Tis sure I'll be wearing the green,
When the calendar says March seventeen,
To help me to think,
It Smithwick's I drink,
Just try some, you'll know what I mean.

The Irish Trilogy - Part Two - Harp Lager Limerick

'Tis sure I'll be wearing the green,
When the calendar says March seventeen,
I'll drink a few Harp,
'Til my wits become sharp,
Just try some, you'll know what I mean.

The Irish Trilogy - Part One - Guinness Limerick

'Tis sure we'll be wearing the green,

When the calendar says March seventeen,

We'll be happy when in us,

Are pints of black Guinness,

Try some, you'll know what we mean.

                      

Dublin's St. Patrick's Day Parade Limerick

They say everyone loves a parade,

And the marchers are set and arrayed,

Whether lass or laddy,

They honored St. Paddy,

The crowd?  They all clapped and hurrayed.

Contemplation On A Barstool?

I sit and I think about drinking,
I hear ice plink and glass clinking,
Why wonder why
My soul gets so dry -
I just order and drink without thinking.

Lisa, Please Be Mine!

There've been ups and downs, it is true,

And it often appears I've no clue,

So just hear me say,

On this special day,

That I really and truly love you!

The Sugar Bowl Promise

Coach Tressel made the Five say

They'd stay if they wanted to play,

The promise, of course,

Coach could not enforce,

But the Five - they decided to stay.