Monday, December 31, 2012

A Pretty Young Girl Named Tess - The Real Loch Ness Monster - Limericks For Children


There was a pretty, young girl named Tess
In Scotland she lived, no less
But she was nasty and mean - 
The worst you have seen
The Monster, she was, of Loch Ness.

Winter Limericks For Kids - A Penguin Named Grace



There once was a penguin named Grace
She slipped and she fell on her face
She walked to the doc
Then went into shock
So he put her bent bill in a brace.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON'S KINDLE STORE A Pirate Named Molly - 56 Limericks For Kids

A PIRATE NAMED MOLLY - 56 LIMERICKS FOR KIDS contains 56 all-new limericks targeted for kids in grades 3 through 6. The limericks range from the traditional There Once Was A Pirate Named Molly to the folklore inspired There Once Was A Naughty Young Shepherd. Holidays and nursery rhyme adaptations are also well represented.

Included are a How-To-Write-A-Limerick Guide and a Rhyming Word Cheat Sheet. These two tools can launch readers on their limerick writing journey. But whether or not readers write limericks, the goal is to have fun with words.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

There Once Was A Pious Young Priest - Vintage Limericks

There once was a pious young priest
Who lived almost wholly on yeast
"For," he said, "It is plain
We must all rise again
And I want to get started, at least."

Friday, December 28, 2012

Cream of Wheat Limerick - An Infant Named Ethelbert Wyatt

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An infant named Ethelbert Wyatt,
For the first solid food in his diet,
Got smo-o-o-th "Cream of Wheat"
Said he, "It's replete
With flavor and nourishment, try it!"

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Lear Classics - There Was An Old Person Of Bree (Not The Bree In The Shire)

There was an old person of Bree,
Who frequented the depths of the sea;
She nurs'd the small fishes,
And washed all the dishes,
And swam back again into Bree.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Rudolph Had A Nose That Was Red - Christmas Limerick For Kids

Rudolph had a nose that was red
And he heard what the other deer said
But the weather was bad
And Santa just had
To use Rudolph to guide his old sled.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

The Night Before Christmas - A Limerick

The stockings were hung with care
With hope St. Nick would be there
All those in the house
(Including the mouse)
Went to bed with a heart-felt prayer.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Nat King Cole - Christmas Song Limerick

There once was a chestnut named Nat
In the middle of the fire he sat
He sang and he boasted
About how he was roasted
And we've all heard the song about that!

Friday, December 21, 2012

Frosty The Snowman - A Limerick

Frosty was a magical snowman
With his hat, he really could go, man
As the weather got hot
Though, the smaller he got
Until, at last, there was no man.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Smart Little Kid - A Bicycle Postcard Limerick

There once was a smart little kid
Whose bike went astray on a skid
The bystanders heard
Just one little word - 
It's a pity they did - but they did.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

We Three Kings - Christmas Limerick Style

We kings of Orient are
With gifts we travel afar
Field and fountain
Moor and mountain
Following yonder star

Born on Bethlehem's plain
I've gold to crown him again
King forever
Ceasing never
Over us all to reign

Incense to offer have I
To honor a deity nigh
Prayer and praising
All men raising
Worship him God most high

Myrrh is bitter perfume
It breathes of gathering gloom
Sorrowing, sighing
Bleeding, dying
Sealed in the stone-cold tomb

So glorious behold him rise
King, and God, and Sacrifice
Alleluia
Alleluia
Earth to heaven replies

O wondrous star of night
With royal beauty bright
Westward leading
Still proceeding
Show us the Perfect Light

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Saturday Evening Post Limerick Contest

Our man George had a bit of a frown,
As he stood in his barely closed gown,
He checked the diploma,
Of young Doctor Roma,
He surely did miss old Doc Brown.

Monday, December 17, 2012

A Snowball Named Jill - Winter Limericks For Kids

There once was a snowball named Jill
She wanted to roll down the hill
Down from the top
She never did stop
I suppose she is rolling down still.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The Bells Are Boldly Ringing - Christmas Limerick

The bells are boldly ringing
The choirs - triumphantly singing
The earth resounds
With heavenly sounds
And Christ - peace and joy is bringing.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

The Hobbit Movie - An Unexpected Journey Limerick

Was Bilbo a lad from the Shire,
Or was he a burglar for hire?
He passed the test
In Part 1 of the quest
But next is the dragon's fire.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Winter Limericks For Kids - A Fir Tree Named Doug

There once was a fir tree named Doug
He bore the north wind with a shrug
With nothing to show
But a blanket of snow
He was snug as a bug in a rug.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

An Elf Named Molly - Christmas Limericks For Kids

There once was an elf named Molly
She braided her hair with holly
She helped Santa make toys
For good girls and boys
Her favorite - a drinks and wets dolly.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

St. Nicholas Brings Pleasure - A Santa Claus Limerick Poem

I know that St. Nick brings pleasure
To all, in bounteous measure
And I hope you're there
When he calls with your share
And you receive your Christmas treasure.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Advice From Churchill - A Limerick







If you're walking through hell, keep going,
The embers around, they'll keep glowing,
Don't stop on your trek,
Eyes forward, don't wreck,
The pain that you feel is you growing.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Santa Checking His List - A Christmas Limerick For Children

There once was a boy named Cole
He mailed his list to the Pole
But he fought with his brother
And lied to his mother
So Santa just gave him some coal.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

A Prohibition Limerick - Down With Liquor!

This female, whose one inspiration
Was that rum meant eternal damnation
Put our town on the blink
In her campaign on drink
And we dried up from liquid starvation.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Bells O'er Belfast - A Christmas Limerick (With a Nod to the Irish Rovers)

When you hear the bells o'er Belfast
You pray that the peace there will last
Perhaps the bells' pealing
Will help with the healing
And the past will remain in the past.

Joys of Cigarettes - A Limerick Poem

May your cares disappear in the ashes
Or into the dim clouds ascend
Thus may all strife
Depart from your life
And enjoyment be yours to the end

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Women's Suffrage - An Impertinent Limerick

There was an old man who said - How
Shall I flee from this horrible cow?
I will sit on this stile
And continue to smile
Which may soften the heart of this cow

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

If He Acts Like A Nasty Old Grinch (A Christmas Limerick)

If he acts like a nasty old grinch,
And the sight of him makes you flinch,
Treat him with kindness,
Perhaps you will mind less,
Though his heart grows not even an inch.

Monday, December 3, 2012

A Christmas Donkey Named Ranger - Christmas Limericks For Kids

There once was a donkey named Ranger
He sensed there was some sort of danger
He ran to the stable
As quickly as able
And saw Jesus born in the manger.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

A Rascal Named Paul - Christmas Limericks For Children


A clever young rascal named Paul
Thought he'd capture St. Nick, pack and all;
He plastered with glue
Both the fireplace and flue -
But Santa came in through the hall!

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Girls Are Mad On The Tango - Dance Limerick Poetry

We girls are all mad on the TANGO
In this dance we certainly CAN GO
To get the steps right
We must be hugged tight
So we can't (if we would) let the MAN GO.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Winter Limericks For Children - A Penguin Named Grace

There once was a penguin named Grace
She slipped and she fell on her face
She went to the doc
And went into shock
So he put her bent bill in a brace.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Pelican Family Limerick Poetry

We are a pelican family
Queerer birds you'll never see
With beaks so elastic
We look quite fantastic
But at fishing, we're tops, you'll agree

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Christmas Limericks For Kids - A Reindeer Named Paige

There was a young reindeer named Paige
She flew very well for her age
But instead of flying
She'd rather be trying
To dance The Nutcracker on stage.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The Hobbit Movie - Another Limerick


Was Bilbo a thief or a spy?
The facts in the matter don't lie,
When he saw the Ring,
He needed the thing,
His hands in his pockets? Oh my!

Winter Limericks For Kids - A Snowman Named Scott

There once was a snowman named Scott
He didn't do well when hot
He was having some fun
When out came the sun
And now our friend Scott is not!

Monday, November 26, 2012

An Elf Named Clare - Christmas Limericks For Children

There was a pretty young elf named Clare
She picked out her clothes with great care
Her friends said to hurry
"Just wear something furry,"
But she couldn't decide what to wear.

A Maid Demure - A Vintage Leap Year Limerick Postcard

This is a Maid demure.
She wants a man for sure.
She's had one or two,
But they will not do,
So another she'll try to secure.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Tuck Limerick Postcard - The Color Blind Painter


O, that someone might place some restraint
On the poor man who thinks he can paint!
With artistic ideals,
His head fairly reels,
But his daubs are so mystic and quaint!

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Merry Christmas Children's Limerick

Listen to the bright chimes a' ringing
And hear the young children singing
With love in the land
These words from my hand
On this card, merry greetings are bringing.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Christmas Greetings Limerick (Christ Today Is Born)

Oh sing this blessed morn
To us a Child is born
A Son is given
By God from Heaven
Christ today is born

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Christmas Advertising Limerick - 1938 Kayser Advertising

"This Christmas," said lovely Yvonne
"I'll be light on your pocketbook, John!
Kayser hosiery will be
Just the right gift for me
If you make it sheer 'Kay-Twist' chiffon!"

There Once Was A Nursemaid Named Lottie (Before Paternity Testing Advances!)

There once was a nursemaid named Lottie
Who on soldiers and sailors was potty
Now she's quite in a stew
Between khaki and blue
And the problem is driving her dotty!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thanksgiving Limericks For Kids - A Turkey Named Kate

There once was a turkey named Kate
She needed to change her sad fate
When she saw the sharp knife
She ran for her life
And flew through the front barnyard gate!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

For A Girl That Is Pretty, I Keen (Green Bonnet Limerick)

For a girl that is pretty, I keen
Whether forty or just sweet sixteen
Here's the latest in style
'Twill look well with a, "Tile"
And vie with the verdure so green.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Rhyming Words Are Dandy

There once was a guy named Randy
He thought rhyming words were dandy
Whenever he heard
An interesting word
He put it in his notebook handy

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Ohio State Michigan Football Limerick


There is now a team from Michigan,
To beat OSU is their wish again,
But losing it late,
Seems likely their fate,
That vict'ry, those boys, they will miss again.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Thanksgiving Pumpkin Pie Limericks

There once was a pie named Trish
She happily sat in a dish
Pumpkin and spice
And everything nice
Made Trish completely delish!

Friday, November 16, 2012

Thanksgiving Blessings Limerick

Thanksgiving Day is drawing nigh
I pray that it may find you well
May your heart be light
And your face be bright
As each of your blessings you tell

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Thankful For The Sunshine - Thanksgiving Limerick

I'm thankful for the sunshine 
For the birds and skies of blue
But I'm thankful most
When I can boast
Of real friends just like you

A Certain Young Woman Named Hannah - Vintage Limericks

A certain young woman named Hannah
Slipped down on a piece of banana
She shrieked and oh, my'd
And more stars she spied
Than belong on the star-spangled banner

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

There Was An Old Lady Of Rye - Vintage Limericks

There was an old lady of Rye
Who was baked by mistake in a pie
To the household's disgust
She emerged through the crust
And exclaimed, with a yawn, "Where am I?"

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Thanksgiving Day Turkey Limerick Poem Postcard

Thanksgiving Day is drawing nigh
I pray it may find you well
May your heart be light
And your face be bright
As each of your blessings you tell

Monday, November 12, 2012

A Turkey Named Joe - Thanksgiving Limericks

There is an old turkey named Joe
He struts wherever he went
Dumb things that he said
Make your face turn pink
He must be the star of the show

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Children's Thanksgiving Limerick - A Turkey Named Anne

There once was a turkey named Anne
She gobbled whenever she ran
Her feathers, always ruffled
Her voice, never muffled
But she still ended up in the pan

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Veteran's Day Limerick - Social Media



We're sitting here tweeting and friending,
So let's stop all the pretending,
The freedoms we use,
Are easy to lose,
So honor those who've served, defending.

If You Think That We're Cocky And Boastful - Statler Hotel Vintage Advertising Limericks


If you think that we're cocky and boastful
Of the hundreds of ways that we're hostful
The Statlers will show you
The reasons we know you
Will find that of comforts we're most full!