Monday, December 21, 2009

Henry Ward Beecher Limerick - O.W. Holmes

The Reverend Henry Ward Beecher,
Called a hen an elegant creature,
The hen, pleased with that,
Laid an egg in his hat,
And thus did the hen reward Beecher.
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Monday, December 14, 2009

Obama and the Banks

He says that the banks should lend more,

So we Americans can spend more,

Go grab your plastic,

Let's do something drastic!

Go buy a GE or Kenmore.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Rich Rodriguez - Part 3

'Though he wasn't a "Michigan Man,"

The new coach came in with a plan,

His name is Rodriguez,

The team does what he says,

But his results should be trashed in the can.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Rich Rodriguez - Part 2

The man, he came from WVU,

His job, to coach the maize and blue,

The fans now debate,

What should be his fate,

It appears he hasn't a clue.

Friday, November 13, 2009

The Team From Up North

There is now a team from Michigan,

To beat OSU is their wish again,

But losing six straight,

Seems likely their fate,

That vict'ry, those boys, they will miss again.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Rich Rodriguez

In Ann Arbor is Rodriguez, Rich,

Too bad he can't find his niche,

Screams night and day,

When things don't go his way,

Not beating the Bucks is a bitch.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

A Young Scottie Named Sandy

There was a young Scottie named Sandy,
Who went to a pub for a shandy,
He lifted his kilt,
To see what he spilt,
And the barmaid said - blimey - that's handy!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Terrelle Pryor

There is a young man named Terrelle,

In high school he did do quite well,

When he got to college,

He was slow to gain knowledge,

But soon, I am sure, he'll excel.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Obama the Fox-hunter

There is a wily old Fox,

About Obama it talks,

“It just isn’t fair,”

He says with a glare,

“My feelings, it hurts, when it mocks.”

Friday, October 16, 2009

Falcon Heene - Balloon Boy

The boy was in the balloon,

They feared he'd fly to the moon,

In a box he was found,

Never leaving the ground,

A reality show we'll see soon.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Mouse in Stew Limerick

A man who was dining at Crewe,
Found quite a large mouse in his stew,
Said the waiter, "Don't shout!
And wave it about,
Or the rest will be wanting one too."

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

There Once Was A Man Named Joe Biden - A Limerick

There once was a man named Joe Biden,
That Amtrak train he was ridin',
V. P. he was made,
"No dumb comments" they prayed,
But his foot, in his mouth, it keeps slidin'.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

The Flute Tutor - A Limerick by Carolyn Wells

A tutor who tooted the flute,
Was teaching two tooters to toot,
Said the two to the tutor,
"Is it harder to toot, or
To tutor two tooters to toot?"

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Lear Classics - Old Man in a Boat

There was an Old Man in a boat,

Who said, 'I'm afloat! I'm afloat!'

When they said, 'No! you aint!'

He was ready to faint,

That unhappy Old Man in a boat.

Friday, September 4, 2009

The Team From Up North

There once was a team from Michigan,

To beat OSU was their wish again,

But losing six straight,

Seemed likely their fate,

That vict'ry, those boys, they will miss again.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

2009 Cincinnati Reds

There's baseball in Cinci, its said,

The hats that they wear, they are red,

But in two thousand and nine,

They're not raising their stein,

All the players are hurtin' or dead!

Monday, August 24, 2009

The Green Grass

Sometimes I sit and I ponder,
What's out in the wide world yonder,
Is the grass greener there,

Though we breathe the same air?

Someday soon, just perhaps, I may wander.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

There Was An Old Man of Kilkenny - Edward Lear

There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,

Who never had more than a penny;

He spent all that money,

In onions and honey,

That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

A Young Lady Whose Name, It Was Simons (Is Marriage A Failure?)

A young lady whose name, it was Simons,
Was exceedingly fond of white diamonds,
Said, "It's lovely to marry
A man like you Harry,
Who knows how to pick out the fine ones."

Friday, August 14, 2009

The Fisherman - He Tells Of The Fish He Has Caught

He tells of the fish he has caught--
(In truth, they were some that he bought),
For he ne'er had a bite,
From morning till night,
Except at the lunch he had bought!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

When Mother-In-Law Holds The Key

When Mother-in-law holds the key,
And lets you in after a spree,
She'll recite all your wrongs,
Poke your ribs with the tongs,
And wallop you over her knee.