Sunday, December 17, 2017

A Young Elf Named Doyle - Funny Christmas Elf Limerick for Kids

There was a young elf named Doyle
Who covered his ears in tin foil.
When friends asked him why
He said in reply.
"It saves them from dust, dirt, and oil."

Thursday, November 30, 2017

There Was A Young Lady Named Dolly - Vintage Christmas Limerick Postcard

There was a young lady named Dolly
Who exclaimed, "I do so love holly
But if you must know
I prefer mistletoe
For to kiss underneath it is jolly."

Saturday, November 11, 2017

There Once Was a Pie Named Trish - Thanksgiving Pumpkin Pie Limericks

There once was a pie named Trish
She happily sat in a dish
Pumpkin and spice
And everything nice
Made Trish completely delish!

Sunday, November 5, 2017

There Was An Old Farmer Named Frankie - Thanksgiving Turkey Limerick

There is an old farmer named Franky,
His mistake at the gate made him cranky,
Since he left it ajar,
The turkey ran far,
And he blew his big nose in his hanky.

Saturday, November 4, 2017

There Is an Old Bird Named Nancy - Thanksgiving Limerick Poem for Kids

There is an old bird named Nancy
Try as she might, she can't see
Her life passed her by
In the blink of an eye
And she no longer has the man's fancy.

Sunday, October 8, 2017

There Once was a Boy Named Terry - Scary Spider Limerick for Kids

There once was a boy named Terry
Who ate a black bug on a dare, he
Fell over in pain
As he tried to explain
That he didn't think spiders were scary.

Sunday, September 17, 2017

It - A Scary Clown Limerick

So what makes this clown so scary
With kids and adults so wary?
In movies and books
He gives creepy looks
With a balloon the hue of a cherry.

Friday, September 15, 2017

Headless Horseman Halloween Limerick (Sleepy Hollow)

There once was a man with no head
The thought of him filled me with dread
The man and his horse
Were a dream, of course
I crooned as I trembled in bed.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

In Killarney There Lived An Old Dame - Vintage Limerick

In Killarney, there lived an old dame
Who for walking, grew too stiff and lame;
So she mounted a pig,
And set off at a jig,
To the market that lively old dame.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Phillips 66 Advertising Limerick

A frantic mechanic named Crocket,
Got so mad at his car he could hock it,
But his wife, she said, "Nix!
It just needs '66'",
Now it starts every time like a rocket!

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Vintage Boat Limerick - Mary Butler

There was a young boy from Lough Ree,
Who wanted to travel the sea.
So he built a small boat,
And set it afloat,
But forgot to get in it you see!

Thursday, April 13, 2017

A Good Friday - Easter Miracle Limerick

When the guilt of sin does seize us,
We should turn to our brother, Jesus,
His death on the cross,
Was truly a loss,
But the miracle on Easter - it frees us.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Little Jack Horner Limerick Postcard

Little Jack Horner stood on the corner
Waiting to catch a car
He was hit by the wheel
Of an automobile
And he never got over the jar.

Saturday, March 4, 2017

The Secret Mystery of St. Patrick Revealed in Limerick Verse!

Nothing but limericks I write
No subject’s too big or too trite
So here’s a true story
That isn’t too gory
About a young lad’s dreadful plight

In Scotland, did young Patrick dwell
His life was comfy and swell
Irish brigands did float
To his home in a boat
And took him to Ireland to sell

In Ireland, Pat was a slave
And he did his best to behave
He herded the swine
Till given a sign
And left without even a wave

To home, as fast as he could
He thought, was proper and good
But he had a vision
And made a decision –
Return to Ireland he would

For Patrick, this wasn’t a game
So first, a priest he became
He returned to the isle
With nary a smile
And focused on spreading Christ’s name

There were many bad serpents about
But Patrick had never a doubt
With force he did pray
Each and every day
And the devils and snakes he cast out

So party, green beer and all
But please do your best to recall
That Patrick’s the reason
For this happy season
As you finish your pub-to-pub crawl

Copyright 2017

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Ash Wednesday Limerick Poem

Today is the first day of Lent,
It's time for all souls to repent,
And with His good grace,
It's He that you'll face,
And you'll know what His sacrifice meant.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Who Is Your Favorite President - A Presidents Day Limerick

Now President's Day is nigh
So who is your favorite guy?
A William or John,
Or maybe a Don,
Or the one who could not tell a lie?

I've studied the 44 men*
And made up my mind only when
After much thinkin'
Decided that Lincoln
Was clearly the best that has been.

* Donald Trump is the 45th President, but Grover Cleveland was president for two nonconsective terms, so only 44 different men have been President

Friday, January 20, 2017

DragonVale Thistle Dragon Limerick

There once was a dragon named Thistle
Who dreamt of a day it could whistle
It huffed and it puffed
Till its tale was quite fluffed
But the best it could do was a sniffle.

Saturday, January 7, 2017

An Old Miser Named Clarence - Classic Ogden Nash Limerick

There was an old miser named Clarence, 
Who simonized both of his parents. 
"The initial expense," 
He remarked, "is immense, 
But I'll save it on wearance and tearance."