Monday, December 30, 2013

New Year's Resolution Limerick - A Confession

This year, I've one resolution
It's simple, there's no convolution
To the confessional
Before the recessional
From my sins, I need absolution.

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Vermont Maid Maple Syrup Limerick (Finish It Yourself)

A damozel fresh from Seattle
Stampeded a herd of wild cattle
Energy Ed grabbed a hoof
Threw the bull through the roof

Saturday, December 28, 2013

The Cyclops Was One Hairy Guy - A Limerick

The Cyclops was one hairy guy
With of course, only one (scary) eye
When he was in sight
The folks ran in fright
But in truth, he was so very shy.

Daniel and the Flat Hat - A Flat Hat Limerick

Young Daniel, he wanted a hat
With a bill that was big and flat
His father said, "No!"
But then came the snow
And Santa, he took care of that.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Frosty The Snowman - Winter Limericks for Kids

Frosty had a magical hat
On the top of his head it sat
With the hat he could walk
Sing songs and talk
And his friends were all happy with that!

(Thanks Daniel and Luke)

Monday, December 23, 2013

Jesus in the Manger - A Christmas Limerick

The cold, bitter wind may freeze us
And the shopping and rush may not please us
But when you are able
Remember the stable
And the newly-born Son-of-God Jesus.

Saturday, December 21, 2013

I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day - Longfellow

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play
And wild and sweet
The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

An Elf Named Steve - Silly Christmas Limerick Poems for Kids

There is an old elf named Steve
Who has a big job Christmas Eve
His single issue?
- Give Santa a tissue
So Claus doesn't sneeze on his sleeve!

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

It's A Wonderful Life Christmas Limerick Poem

They say It's Wonderful Life
Why not, with Mary as your wife
George knew in the end
He was a good friend
And friends help you overcome strife.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Could Santa Go Faster In A Car? A Christmas Limerick

Each of the reindeer's a flyer
They pull Santa's sleigh ever higher
But why not a car
If you want to go far?
'Cause a sleigh can't get a flat tire!

A Question About Santa - Limerick Style

Answer for me this short query
"Does Santa Claus ever get weary?"
He delivers fun toys
To good girls and boys
And still he always seems cheery.

Monday, December 16, 2013

An Elf Named Simon - Christmas Limerick Poems for Children

A wee, little elf named Simon
With a star, the tree he was climbin'
He did not stop
Till he reached the top
And the star, it shined like a diamond.

Grandma's Christmas Surprise Recipe Limerick (Orange Meringue Pie)

She baked a Christmas surprise
That she hid from all prying eyes
She thought it a hoot
To use citrus fruit
To bake three orange meringue pies!

Saturday, December 14, 2013

An Elf Named Wyatt - An Elf Limerick for Kids

A grumpy old elf named Wyatt
Told all the young elves to be quiet
He gave them a glare
With his very best stare
But the youngsters continued their riot!

An Elf Named Pearl - Limerick Poems for Kids

There was a young elf named Pearl,
She loved to eat chocolate swirl,
When her friends did buy
Her a life-time supply,
You could say she was one happy girl!

Friday, December 13, 2013

An Elf Named Ellie - Christmas Limerick Poems for Kids

There once was an elf named Ellie
Who liked to eat food that was smelly
Limburger cheese
And garlic-soaked peas
Felt awfully good in her belly.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Vintage Christmas Greetings Postcard Limerick (On A Blackboard)

For you my Christmas wishes
Mount up to such a figure
This board would not
Contain the lot
I'd need one ten times bigger.

Vintage Christmas Card Limerick Poem

This little girl with her hair a-curl
Has traveled a long, long way
She comes with a kiss
And a big, big wish
For your happiness Christmas Day.

Monday, December 9, 2013

To You And All Your Kinfolk - A Vintage Christmas Postcard

To you and all your kinfolk
A happy Christmas Day!
A crowded year 
Of joy and cheer
And fun and work and play!

A Christmas Pudding Limerick - Vintage Christmas Postcard

Hurrah for the holiday season!
Hail to its puddings and plums
Great Blessings upon
The dear children,
For whom this sweet Christmas comes!

At Christmas - A Funny Edward Lear Limerick Poem

There was an old lady whose folly
Induced her to sit upon holly
Whereon, by a thorn
Her dress being torn
She quickly became melancholy.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

A Young Lad Named Madigan - A Plaid Postcard Limerick

There was a young lad named Madigan
He sighed, he frowned, and was sad again
His mom asked him why
He wanted to cry
And he said, "I don't want to wear plaid again."

Friday, December 6, 2013

A Reindeer Named Rick - The Secret of Flying Reindeer - Christmas Limerick Poems for Children

There once was a reindeer named Rick
He thought he discovered the trick
He climbed on the roof
Pawed the air with his hoof
But leaped and fell just like a brick!

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The Reason for the Season - Christmas Limerick Poem

I hope that your Christmas is merry,
And your jolly St. Nick is hairy.
But remember the reason,
for this joyous season,
Is Jesus, and Joseph, and Mary.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

An Angel Named Joyce - Christmas Limericks for Kids

There once was an angel named Joyce
She had quite a beautiful voice
Whenever she'd sing
The bells would all ring
And all of us humans rejoice.

An Elf Named Glitter - A Twitter Christmas Limerick

There once was an elf named Glitter
Who loved to tweet tweets on her twitter
But this broke a rule
(Santa being old-school)
And the loss of her phone made her bitter.

Monday, December 2, 2013

The Desolation of Smaug - The Hobbit Part II - A Limerick

Well next, it's The Hobbit, Part II
With Smaug, full length, for our view
Will Bilbo expire
From  Smaug's dragon fire
What's our poor hobbit to do?

Sunday, December 1, 2013

An Elf Named Maria - Limericks for Kids

There once was an elf named Maria
Who had a brilliant idea
When she was late
Instead of a plate
She used a white-corn tortilla.

Saturday, November 30, 2013

An Elf Named Rose - Christmas Limericks for Kids

There once was an elf named Rose
Who liked to wear ribbons and bows
And she like to make noise
When wrapping the toys
So she wore jingle bells on her toes.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

A Scrooge Christmas Limerick

Scrooge was a grumpy old fellow
Who was prone to scream and to bellow
When he heard on that day
What the ghosts had to say
He softened, and grew much more mellow.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

An Ohio State - *ichigan Football Li*erick

There is now a tea* fro* *ichigan
To beat OSU is its wish again
But the tea* under Hoke
See*s *ore like a joke
The vict'ry, that tea*, it will *iss again.

An Indian and Pilgrim Thanksgiving Limerick

In the cold and windy, wet weather
The Indians and Pilgrims together
Prepared for the feast
By cleaning the beast
And plucked each and every last feather.

Monday, November 25, 2013

A How To Cook A Turkey Limerick

Three hundred and fifty degrees
Will cook your ol' bird with ease.
But watch when you shove in
The bird in the oven.
Take care not to cough or to sneeze.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

A Pilgrim - Indian First Thanksgiving Limerick

Two boys went hunting one autumn
The sound of a turkey, it brought 'em
Face-to-face with the bird
Whose gobble they heard
So they readied, they aimed, and they shot 'em!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

A Simons' Thanksgiving - Green Acres Farm Limerick

Memories of Thanksgivings past
Might be equaled, but never surpassed
The Simons did play
On each turkey day
Green Acres was always a blast!

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

A Spud Named Davy - A Thanksgiving Dinner Limerick

There is a young spud named Davy
He wants to be covered in gravy
He'd rather be mashed
Then fried or hashed
Or be made a potato chip, wavy.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Dressing or Stuffing? A Thanksgiving Dinner Limerick

If you must make a choice between
Stuffing or dressing, I mean
Cooked outside the bird
Is what I prefer
Or you could just go ask Paula Deen!

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Don't Shop on Thanksgiving - Part 2 - Thanksgiving Limerick

If you want to know what I thinks
Shopping on Turkey Day stinks
Can't we survive
- Perhaps even thrive
If we respond to the ads like a sphinx?

Saturday, November 16, 2013

A Turkey Named Mabel - Thanksgiving Limerick for Kids

There once was a turkey named Mabel
To fly, she was simply unable
But the gate wasn't barred
So she ran very hard
And thereby avoided the table!

Thursday, November 14, 2013

A Limerick Message From Brutus Buckeye to Fighting Illini Fans

There once was a team from Illinois,
Their fans, this message, it will annoy,
The orange may fight,
From morning till night,
But the vict'ry will be ours to enjoy.

A Turkey Named Drew - Thansksgiving Limericks for Kids

There once was a turkey named Drew
Who ran with more speed than he flew
When the gate was ajar
He sprinted quite far
And kept himself out of the stew.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Sweet Potato Limerick for Thanksgiving

For me, what I am is a yam
I go with both turkey and ham
A po-tato sweet
Is yummy to eat
I even taste good with roast lamb.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

A Turkey Named Dunn - A Thanksgiving Limerick

There once was a turkey named Dunn
Thanksgiving, for him, wasn't fun
He was the main source
Of dinner, of course
And when it was through, he was done.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Saturday Evening Post Christmas Limerick Contest

Like angels, the little boys sing
Like bells, their clear voices ring
When they disagree
A change you will see
Like boxers, their fists they will fling.

Eat Up And Have A Grand Thanksgiving Dinner - A Thanksgiving Limerick

On Thanksgiving, here's a grand dinner
For a pro, or for a beginner
There's turkey and pie
C'mon don't be shy
Only the bird should be thinner!

Friday, November 8, 2013

Turkey Hunter - A Thanksgiving Turkey Limerick

Here's something that you rarely see
A bird caused a hunter to flee
The boy dropped his gun
And started to run -
Who knew how tough turkeys could be?