An Old Woman of Wilts - Vintage Limerick Postcard

There was an old woman of Wilts
Who went up to Scotland on stilts
When they said, "Oh how shocking
To show so much stocking."
She replied, "You should see me in kilts!"

Five Ducks Lined Up In A Row - A Limerick

There were five ducks lined up in a row
But they didn't know where they should go
Flapped this way and that 
With many a quack
Got tix for the eight o'clock show.

The Matinee Girl - Vintage Vinegar Valentine Limerick Postcard

The matinee girl always sighs
And murmurs, "Oh, how the time flies!"
She calls the show "neat,"
Thinks the leading man "sweet,"
And raves o'er his "glorious eyes!"

For Sale - One Brown and White Cow - Limericks for Kids

For Sale! One brown and white cow
She won't pull a cart or a plow
But feed her fresh hay
And two times a day
She'll give chocolate milk - but how?

World War II - War Bonds - Liberty Limericks - 1944

A chef who knew lots about dough
Said, "So far, we've raised it too slow-
We'll beat Hitler when
One dollar in ten
Is put into War Bonds - Let's go!"

A Selfish Young Boy Named Garrett - Limericks for Children

A selfish young boy named Garrett
He grew a three-foot-long carrot
A bunny begged, "Please?"
But G. said with ease,
"There's simply no way I will share it!"

A Vote for Donald or Cruz - A John Kasich Victory Limerick

A vote for Donald or Cruz
Is a sure-fired way to lose
John Kasich's the man
With the Victory Plan
He'll give H. Clinton the blues.

It's Spring! Let's Play Ball - A Baseball Limerick

We've not heard this sound since last fall,

The winter, has cast its gray pall,

Spring is now here,

Grab a dog and a beer,

And wait for the shout, "Play Ball!"

Only John Kasich Can Trump Hillary in November - A Limerick

The Debates have been quite the spectacle
But we need someone who's respectable
John Kasich's the man
With the Beat Clinton Plan
Let's vote for the one who's electable.

John Kasich for President in 2020 - A Limerick Poem

When voting for the U.S. President
The White House's very next resident
The answer is basic
Just vote for John Kasich
With this good advice I'm not hesitant.

Won't You Come Up To Limerick? A Limerick

How do you get there, you query?
To find out you simply ask Siri.
Limerick's the name
Of the town that's your aim.
But is this the way? I'm leery.

A Maid Demure - Vintage Leap Year Limerick Postcard

This is a Maid demure.
She wants a man for sure.
She's had one or two,
But they will not do,
So another she'll try to secure.

The Frightened Lion - Vintage Walter Crane Limerick

A Bullfrog according to rule
Sat a-croak in his usual pool
And he laughed in his heart
As a lion did start
In a fright from the brink like a fool.

Imaginary fears are the worst.

Hercules & The Waggoner - A Vintage Walter Crane Limerick

When the God saw the Waggoner kneel,
Crying, "Hercules! Lift me my wheel,
From the mud where 'tis stuck!"
He laughed - "No such luck;
Set your shoulder yourself to the wheel."

The gods help those who help themselves.

Groundhog's Day Limerick Poem for Kids

There once was a groundhog named Phil
He liked to keep out of the chill
On Feb. 2 he saw
His shadow grown tall-
So he scurried back under his hill.

Who Is Your Favorite President? A President's Day Limerick Poem.

Now President's Day is nigh
So who is your favorite guy?
A William or John,
Or maybe a Ron,
Or the one who could not tell a lie?

I've studied the 43 men*
And made up my mind only when
After much thinkin'
Decided that Lincoln
Was clearly the best that has been.

*Obama is the 44th President, but Grover Cleveland was president for two nonconsective terms, so only 43 different men have been President

Martin Luther King, Jr. Limerick Poem

"I have a dream," he said
Then four years later, he's dead
Though he is gone
His spirit lives on
For freedom, his blood, he shed.

Daddy's Nap Limerick

To this overly cautious young chap
Who inquired if she would mayhap
Squeal for help if he kissed her
She replied, "I would mister
But I must'nt disturb Daddy's nap."

We Three Kings - Christmas Hymn - Limerick Style

Three kings of Orient are
With gifts we travel afar
Field and fountain
Moor and mountain
Following yonder star

Born on Bethlehem's plain
I've gold to crown him again
King forever
Ceasing never
Over us all to reign

Incense to offer have I
To honor a deity nigh
Prayer and praising
All men raising
Worship him God most high

Myrrh is bitter perfume
It breathes of gathering gloom
Sorrowing, sighing
Bleeding, dying
Sealed in the stone-cold tomb

So glorious behold him rise
King, and God, and Sacrifice
Alleluia
Alleluia
Earth to heaven replies

O wondrous star of night
With royal beauty bright
Westward leading
Still proceeding
Show us the Perfect Light

A Wreath Named Jo - Christmas Limerick Poem For Kids

There once was a wreath named Jo
She was proud of her big, red bow
Her circle of greenery
Made beautiful scenery
In the light of the fireplace glow.

A Confused Young Elf From Norway - Funny Winter Poem for Kids

A confused, young elf from Norway
Stood in the midst of the doorway
He didn't know
Which way to go
He wanted to know what would Thor say?

There Once Was an Elf from Perth - Chirstmas Poem for Kids

There once was an elf from Perth
Who was rather well-known for his girth
He ate Turkish Delight
All day and all night
Till he was as big as the earth!

A Snowman Afraid of the Heat - A Winter Limerick

There once was a snowman named Pete
He had a just fear of the heat
When he was afraid
He ran for the shade
And covered himself with a sheet.

An Elf From Helsinki - Winter Poem for Kids

There once was an elf from Helsinki
He picked at his nose with his pinkie
But when it got stuck
His friend muttered, "Yuck."
And went back to eating his Twinkie.

A Reindeer Named Peter - Funny Winter Poem for Kids

There once was a reindeer named Peter
He drank chocolate milk by the liter
Burgers & fries
And hot apple pies
He was the North Pole's best eater.

An Elf Named Jangles - Christmas Poem for Children

There was a young elf named Jangles
Whose hair was always in tangles
But she didn't care
'Cause she liked to wear
Ribbons, and bows, and bangles.

The Night Before Christmas - Limerick Poem for Children

The stockings were hung with care
With hope St. Nick would be there
All those in the house
(Including the mouse)
Went to bed with a heart-felt prayer.

An Elf Named McWeezer - Funny Christmas Limerick Poem for Kids

There was a young elf named McWeezer
His job was to clean Santa's freezer
It's sad, but it's true
His nose, it turned blue
He was, we know now, quite the sneezer.

A Snowman Named Vince - Funny Winter Poem for Kids

There once was a snowman named Vince
But no one has talked to him since
Without any sound
He ate a whole pound
Of super-hot cinnamon mints!

An Elf Named Lou - Christmas Poem for Kids

There once was an elf named Lou
He made the best holiday stew
The one secret spice
That made it so nice
Was dust from Santa's left shoe!

The Reason for the Season - A Christmas Poem

I hope that your Christmas is merry,
And your jolly St. Nick is hairy,
But remember the reason,
for this joyous season,
Is Jesus, and Joseph, and Mary.

From A Pirate Named Molly, copyright 2013, Randy Imwalle

A Sleigh Belle Named Tingle - Christmas Poem for Kids

There was a young sleigh bell named Tingle
She loved to ring and to jingle
She shined herself bright
'Cause on Christmas Eve night
She'll be on the sled of Kris Kringle.

Are There Raisins in Your Stuffing Recipe? A Thanksgiving Limerick

Consider the humble brown raisin
It's always demure, never brazen
But when the issue is stuffing
They'll be huffing and puffing
The fights that it starts are amazin'.

Which Turkey to Take? A Thanksgiving Limerick for Kids

The man had a tough choice to make
Which of the birds should he take?
Both turkeys looked good
But he thought that he should
Take the jenny instead of the jake.

(A jenny is a young female turkey.  
A jake is a young male turkey.)

A Wraith by the Name of McKay - Halloween Limericks for Kids

A wraith by the name of McKay
Liked to lead trick-or-treaters astray
The kids started to cry
When he floated by
But the wind came and blew him away.

All Hallow's Eve Limerick - Speechless with Fear

At the end of October each year
When All Hallow's Eve is near
The blowing leaves crackle
And old witches cackle
And I'm almost speechless with fear!