A Penguin Named McGillicuddy - Winter Limericks for Kids

I have a young friend named McGillicuddy
Whose favorite toy is Silly Putty
She thinks it quite nice
To sleep on the ice
So I guess that makes her my chilly buddy.

Carly the Elf Likes Custard - Limericks for Children

Carly the elf was flustered
When she tasted the caramel custard
Her taste buds rejected
The flavor detected
---The stuff was stadium mustard!

A Gentleman Out In Decatur - Vintage Thanksgiving Limerick Postcard

The cost of good living is greater,
Said a gentleman out in Decatur,
When Thanksgiving came round,
On inquiry I found,
He had dined on string beans and potater.

A Turkey Named Joe - Thanksgiving Limericks

There is an old turkey named Joe
He struts wherever he went
Dumb things that he said
Made your face turn pink
He must be the star of the program

The Suave Vampire - Halloween Limericks

The vampire is a very suave creature
Was the lesson that Vlad tried to teach her
"He leaves his coffin
Just every so often,"
Said Vlad as he leapt up to reach her.

What's That Sound? Halloween Limerick for Kids

"What's that!" I said, "Didja hear it?
It's that sound again, and I fear it."
But I found that the noise
Was made by three boys
Pretending to be a mean spirit.

A Pumpkin Named Freddy - Halloween Poems For Kids

"A pumpkin, I am," said Freddy,
"To be carved with a knife, I am ready
Since you, I trust
Warn you, I must
My insides are like cold spaghetti."

A Geezer Named Bernie - Halloween Skeleton Limerick

There once was a geezer named Bernie,
Who started a long, epic journey.
"I never will stop,
Till I reach the top!"
But they carried him out on a gurney.

Old Gourmand of Peel - Vintage Limerick Postcard

There was an old gourmand of Peel
Who supped on some escalloped veal
The dreams which ensued
Where so awful, so crude
They'd have frightened, well, you know - the de'il!

Vintage Schweppes Tonic Water Advertising Limerick

Said a bandmaster, "Wilson, you're sacked!
Since you took to Scheppes tonic you've cracked
Twenty drumsticks, and split
Seven drums. I submit
That such force should be tempered with tact."

St. Patrick's Day Guinness Limerick

'Tis sure we'll be wearing the green,

When the calendar says March seventeen,

We'll be happy when in us,

Are pints of black Guinness,

Try some, you'll know what we mean.

                      

Irish Pig Limerick for St. Patrick's Day

Through the fog, I saw a fat pig
Hop on the end of a twig,
The scene was a blur,
So I'm not really sure,
But I thing he was dancing a jig!

Temperance Limerick Postcard - The Snake in the Grass

You have heard of the snake in the grass
The terrible snake in the grass
But now you must know
Man's deadliest foe
Is the venomous snake in the glass.

The couple from Gloucester, lost 'er - Vintage limerick

An old couple living in Gloucester
Had a beautiful girl, but they loucester
She fell from a yacht
And never the spacht
Could be found where the cold waves had toucester.

The Reason for the Season - A Christmas Limerick

I hope that your Christmas is merry,
And your jolly St. Nick is hairy,
But remember the reason,
For this happy season,
Is Jesus, and Joseph, and Mary.

A Snowman Named Garrett - Winter Limerick for Kids

There was a young snowman named Garrett
Whose mother gave him a carrot
With tears in his eyes
He cried out in surprise
"And you say that you want me to wear it?"

An Elf Named Moll - Vintage Christmas Limerick

There was a young elf named Moll
Who purchased a new parasol
With a handle so long
That she had to be strong
Or she couldn't have lugged it at all.

An Elf Named Piper - A Christmas Limerick Poem for Kids

There was a young elf named Piper
At Christmas, she always got hyper
What was the reason
For her crazy season?
She was the lead candy-cane striper.

Where Are Santa's Glasses? A Vintage Christmas Limerick

Said an elderly man with gray hair
Who had searched for his specs everywhere
When one dared to propose
That he look on his nose
"How do you suppose they got there?"

An Elf Named Glitter - A #Twitter Christmas Limerick

There once was an elf named Glitter
Who loved to tweet tweets on her twitter
But this broke a rule
(Santa being old-school)
And the loss of her phone made her bitter.

Thanksgiving Praise - A Limerick - Pass the Gravy

The crops are all in from the field
And the folks all give thanks for the yield
- Giving praise is right
But don't take all night!
I don't like my gravy congealed.

A Spud Named Davy - A Thanksgiving Dinner Limerick

There is a young spud named Davy
He wants to be covered in gravy
He'd rather be mashed
Then fried or hashed
Or be made a potato chip, wavy.

The Little Hunter - Funny Thanksgiving Turkey Limerick

Here's something that you rarely see
A bird caused a hunter to flee
The boy dropped his gun
And started to run -
Who knew how tough turkeys could be?

Funny Ogre Halloween Limerick

There's a lumpy, old ogre named Vince,
Just a whiff of his breath makes you wince.
But he has a kind heart
And is gentle and smart,
So we bought him two cases of mints.

A Witch, a Ghoul and a Sprite on All Hallow's Eve - A Limerick

A witch, a ghoul, and a sprite
Dance in the silvery light
It's All Hallow's Eve
- Or don't you believe
That ghosts of the dead roam the night?

I believe in witches - do you? A Limerick

Do you believe witches are real?
Can you see them or hear them or feel?
So scoff if you must,
But my eyes I trust,
And I think that just now I will squeal!

A Witch Limerick for Kids

A witch with a broom and a cat
Wears a pointed and buckled gray hat
She flies to the store
Because she needs more
Eye of newt, toe of frog, wing of gnat.

A Fiancee of Brill - Vintage Limerick Postcard

There was a fiancee of Brill
Whose mother cried, "Bless my heart Till!
To hear you keep on
About you and your John
Is enough to make anyone ill!"

Hamel's Camel Vintage Limerick Postcard

An adventurous person named Hamel
Travelled thousands of miles on a camel
No provisions he took
But for bird's eggs he'd look
Which he'd boil for himself and his camel

An Old Codger from Maine Vintage Limerick Postcard

Here's an old codger from Maine
Who says you should never restrain
An impulse to send
A card to a friend
No matter how small or how plain

Vinegar Valentine Limerick Postcard - The Bachelor

The Bachelor frequently "knocks"
Matrimony, and very oft flocks
To his club in the eve
For pleasure, we believe -
But how about mending his socks?

Vintage Limerick - More Adventures of Sunny Jim and Dismal David

There once was a little bull-pup
Who used with his mistress to sup
A tramp he came by
A-looking for pie - 
Oddsbodikins!!  Marry come up!

Vintage Limerick - The Adventures of Sunny Jim and Dismal David

There was a phenomenal snail 
Whose body was nearly all tail
He cried with delight
On that wonderful sight -
Such a marvellous tail for a snail.

A Snowman In Spring - Limericks for Kids

There is a young snowman named Tuttle
His thoughts are all in a muddle
He so wants to run
And play in the sun
But then he'd end up as a puddle.

The Real True Story of St. Patrick in Limerick Verse

Nothing but limericks I write

No subject’s too big or too trite

So here’s a true story

That isn’t too gory

About a young lad’s dreadful plight

In Scotland, did young Patrick dwell

His life was comfy and swell

Irish brigands did float

To his home in a boat

And took him to Ireland to sell

In Ireland, Pat was a slave

And he did his best to behave

He herded the swine

Till given a sign

And left without even a wave

To home, as fast as he could

He thought, was proper and good

But he had a vision

And made a decision –

Return to Ireland he would

For Patrick, this wasn’t a game

So first, a priest he became

He returned to the isle

With nary a smile

And focused on spreading Christ’s name

There were many bad serpents about

But Patrick had never a doubt

With force he did pray

Each and every day

And the devils and snakes he cast out

So party, green beer and all

But please do your best to recall

That Patrick’s the reason

For this happy season

As you finish your pub-to-pub crawl

Valentine's Day Limerick - Cupid's Arrows and Bows

He's expert with arrows and bows
Your heart's true desire, he knows
Love once invited
Will leave you excited
Your love, it then blossoms and grows.