A Geezer Named Bernie - Halloween Skeleton Limerick

There once was a geezer named Bernie,
Who started a long, epic journey.
"I never will stop,
Till I reach the top!"
But they carried him out on a gurney.

It's Spring! Let's Play Ball - A Baseball Limerick

We've not heard this sound since last fall,

The winter, has cast its gray pall,

Spring is now here,

Grab a dog and a beer,

And wait for the shout, "Play Ball!"

I Hope You Will Not Be Afraid (Vintage Halloween Postcard Limericks)

I hope you will not be afraid

If the Witches you see on paraid

They are excellent folk

But delight in a jolk

For that's just the way they are maid

For Irish Music Addicts - The Dublin Irish Festival

If it's Irish music you need,

Your endless hunger to feed,

Please have no fear,

Dublin O. is quite near,

Just get there with all proper speed.

The Doctor - He Comes To See You When You're Ill

He comes to see you when you're ill,

He gives you powder, dose and pill,

Your tongue consults,

Then feels your pulse,

And he is always "dressed to kill!"

Where The Wild Things Are

There was a young boy who was wild,
His actions, his mother, they riled,
So she sent him to bed,
Wild things filled his head,
When he awoke he felt peaceful and mild.

A Limerick Message From Brutus Buckeye to Fighting Illini Fans

There once was a team from Illinois,

Their fans, this message, it will annoy,

The orange may fight,

From morning till night,

But the vict'ry will be ours to enjoy.

The Old Maid Limerick - She Caught A Poor Cat And A Bird

 She's caught a poor cat and a bird,
But she can't snare a man, so we've heard,
It's the old maid's sad fate
To lose out on a mate
And take tea - but s-sh! not a word.

A Dublin Irish Festival Riddle

Let me pose to you now this short riddle,

Answer me quick now, don't diddle,

"With strings and a bow,

And best in the show?"

It's Natalie MacMaster's fine fiddle.

The Jockey - A Horse Racing Limerick

The jockey's at ev'ry race course,
His mission's to sit on a horse.
If you've gotten a "tip,"
The horse is sure to slip,
And you end up with a case of remorse.

The College Girl

Of football she talks like a sport,

And rooting and cheering's her forte,

Whichever side wins,

She's sure of "frat" pins,

For she's really a very good sort.

S.S. Lady Limerick Postcard

S.S. Lady Limerick

The Nobel Prize Committee to Barack Obama - New Classic

They gave him the prize Nobel,
Their view of the world to sell,
You're just one in the world,
Stars & Stripes, keep it furled,
To belong, just do as we tell.

Our Champion, He Was Johnny Tarr - A Gaelic Storm Limerick

Our champion, he was Johnny Tarr,

Never beaten, he was at the bar,

Perhaps he was cursed,

For he died, yea, of t'irst,

The doctor exclaimed, by gar!

Lear Classics - There Was An Old Person Of Bree (Not The Bree In The Shire)

There was an old person of Bree,
Who frequented the depths of the sea;
She nurs'd the small fishes,
And washed all the dishes,
And swam back again into Bree.

Advice From Churchill - A Limerick

If you're walking through hell, keep going,

The embers around, they'll keep glowing,

Don't stop on your trek,

Eyes forward, don't wreck,

The pain that you feel is you growing.

If He Acts Like A Nasty Old Grinch (A Christmas Limerick)

If he acts like a nasty old grinch,

And the sight of him makes you flinch,

Treat him with kindness,

Perhaps you will mind less,

Though his heart grows not even an inch.

Thankful For The Sunshine - Thanksgiving Limerick

I'm thankful for the sunshine 
For the birds and skies of blue
But I'm thankful most
When I can boast
Of real friends just like you

A Certain Young Lady From Wheeling - Cream of Wheat Advertising Limerick

A certain young lady from Wheeling,

Said, "Here is a taste most appealing!

I just love 'Cream of Wheat'

And you simply can't beat

That wonderful 'Cream of Wheat' feeling!"

The Guillotine v. Lethal Injection

Botched lethal injections have taught us

We need A Proposal, Modest

If you need someone dead
Just cut off his head

Let's use the machine the French brought us.