The couple from Gloucester, lost 'er - Vintage limerick

An old couple living in Gloucester
Had a beautiful girl, but they loucester
She fell from a yacht
And never the spacht
Could be found where the cold waves had toucester.

A Man Who Was Deeply In Debt - A Vintage Limerick

A man who was deeply in debt
Said, "No matter whatever I gebt,
My creditors claim
A share of the saim
Which makes me discouraged, you bebt."

An Old Gourmet Called Lamb - A Vintage Limerick

There was an old gourmet called Lamb
Who indulged in a weakness for hamb;
When they brought him some bacon,
He said, "You're mistaken,
For this stuff, I don't care a damb!"

There Was A Young Man Of Killarney - Vintage Irish Limerick

There was a young man of Killarney
Who was chock full of what is called blarney
He would sit on a stile
And tell lies by the mile
Would this dreadful young man of Killarney

A Wise Man Exploring The Nile - Vintage Limericks

A wise man exploring the Nile
Said, "The Sphinx is no doubt all the style
But yonder there be
Other ruins, I see,
And I'll peer-amid those for awhile."

Vintage Cow Limerick - Zephyr

A farmer once called his cow "Zephyr,"
She seemed such an amiable heifer.
When the farmer drew near
She kicked off his ear,
And now he is very much deafer.

A Composer Who Lived in the Ghetto - 1906 Vintage Limerick

A composer who lived in the ghetto,
Once wrote out a comic libretto;
When nobody sang it,
He said, "Oh well, hang it,
I'll sing it myself in falsetto!"

Are You Telling Me Limericks Are Only Good For Cheap Laughs? (Vintage)

When the funny man's copy is due
And jokes seem remarkably few
He will jump into his chair
Take a pull at his hair
Then grind out a limerick or two.

A Man Who Was Steering A Yacht - Vintage Limericks

A man who was steering a yacht
His course through the water forgacht
And he stuck in the mud
With a dull, sickening thud
And the captain then swore a whole lacht.

A Young Lady Named Mabel - 1906 Limerick

There was a young lady named Mabel
Who danced on the dining-room table
But she blushed very red
When the gentlemen said
Oh! look at the legs on the table.

Here's To The Lasses We've Loved - A Vintage Limerick

Here's to the lasses we've loved, my lad,
Here's to the lips we've pressed,
For of kisses and lasses
Like liquor in glasses
The last is always the best.

A Blasphemous Parrot - Vintage Limerick (Updated)

We once had a blasphemous parrot
That swore till we just couldn't bear it
When we tied up his beak
He learned in one week
In American Sign Language to swear it.

A Certain Young Woman Named Hannah - Vintage Limericks

A certain young woman named Hannah
Slipped down on a piece of banana
She shrieked and oh, my'd
And more stars she spied
Than belong on the star-spangled banner

There Was An Old Lady Of Rye - Vintage Limericks

There was an old lady of Rye
Who was baked by mistake in a pie
To the household's disgust
She emerged through the crust
And exclaimed, with a yawn, "Where am I?"

Nan Went With Her Aunt to Antietam - Vintage Limerick

Nan went with her aunt to Antietam
Her Pa had promised to treat 'em.
He bought from the "Man,"
Some apples for "Nan,"
But before Nan could eat 'em, Antietam.

Davy Jones' Locker - A Limerick

Said the mate of this vessel unique
To the cap'n, "What port shall we seek?"
Said the cap'n, "We'll dock 'er
In Davy Jones' locker;
The bloomin' old tub's sprung a leak."

A Fellow Who Lived On The Rhine - Vintage Limericks

A fellow who lived on the Rhine
Saw a fish that he wanted to dine
But how to invite him?
"Ah," he said, "I will write him!"
So he sat down and dropped him a line!

I'd Rather Have Fingers Than Toes - Vintage Limerick

I'd rather have fingers than toes
I'd rather have ears than a nose
And as for my hair
I'm glad it's all there
I'll be awfully sad when it goes

Another Vintage Lawyer Joke - Circa 1906 Limerick

There was a young lawyer named Pique,
Who sported a prominent bique,
An angry old client
Grew very defiant,
And gave his proboscis a twique.

Vintage Lawyer Jokes - 1906 Limericks

Their was a young heiress called Rooker,
And a lawyer called Luke, tried to "hook" her,
But the heiress was shrewd,
Though her question was rude,
"Do you look at my looks, Luke, or lucre?"