Wednesday, October 7, 2020

A Squeezy Goblin - Halloween Limericks for Kids


I hope that this poem will please you,

It is meant, just a little, to tease you,

Please have no fear,

If a goblin is near,

It probably just wants to squeeze you.

Tuesday, August 18, 2020

Saved By A Jack O'Lantern - Halloween Limericks for Kids

If you hear at your window a "scritch"
It could be a goblin or witch
On a night black
A pumpkin named Jack
Might stop a terminal twitch

Thursday, January 2, 2020

Liberty Limericks - An Angler Named Wade

"War Bonds," said an angler named Wade,
"Are the sportingest catch I have made - 
They'll save us our freedom
And then when we need 'em,
They're good for more cash than we paid!"

Sunday, December 15, 2019

All Hail the Bells of Yule - Vintage Christmas Postcard

All hail the bells of Yule
And the golden peel they play
May the message they tell
As they rise and they swell
Bring joy to your heart today.

Tuesday, December 3, 2019

A Penguin Named McGillicuddy - Winter Limericks for Kids

I have a young friend named McGillicuddy
Whose favorite toy is Silly Putty
She thinks it quite nice
To sleep on the ice
So I guess that makes her my chilly buddy.

Saturday, November 30, 2019

Carly the Elf Likes Custard - Limericks for Children

Carly the elf was flustered
When she tasted the caramel custard
Her taste buds rejected
The flavor detected
---The stuff was stadium mustard!

Friday, November 1, 2019

A Gentleman Out In Decatur - Vintage Thanksgiving Limerick Postcard

The cost of good living is greater,
Said a gentleman out in Decatur,
When Thanksgiving came round,
On inquiry I found,
He had dined on string beans and potater.

A Turkey Named Joe - Thanksgiving Limericks

There is an old turkey named Joe
He struts wherever he went
Dumb things that he said
Made your face turn pink
He must be the star of the program

Sunday, October 27, 2019

The Suave Vampire - Halloween Limericks

The vampire is a very suave creature
Was the lesson that Vlad tried to teach her
"He leaves his coffin
Just every so often,"
Said Vlad as he leapt up to reach her.

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

What's That Sound? Halloween Limerick for Kids

"What's that!" I said, "Didja hear it?
It's that sound again, and I fear it."
But I found that the noise
Was made by three boys
Pretending to be a mean spirit.

Saturday, September 28, 2019

A Pumpkin Named Freddy - Halloween Poems For Kids

"A pumpkin, I am," said Freddy,
"To be carved with a knife, I am ready
Since you, I trust
Warn you, I must
My insides are like cold spaghetti."

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

A Geezer Named Bernie - Halloween Skeleton Limerick

There once was a geezer named Bernie,
Who started a long, epic journey.
"I never will stop,
Till I reach the top!"
But they carried him out on a gurney.

Monday, July 29, 2019

Old Gourmand of Peel - Vintage Limerick Postcard

There was an old gourmand of Peel
Who supped on some escalloped veal
The dreams which ensued
Where so awful, so crude
They'd have frightened, well, you know - the de'il!

Monday, March 18, 2019

Vintage Schweppes Tonic Water Advertising Limerick

Said a bandmaster, "Wilson, you're sacked!
Since you took to Scheppes tonic you've cracked
Twenty drumsticks, and split
Seven drums. I submit
That such force should be tempered with tact."

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

St. Patrick's Day Guinness Limerick

'Tis sure we'll be wearing the green,
When the calendar says March seventeen,
We'll be happy when in us,
Are pints of black Guinness,
Try some, you'll know what we mean.

Irish Pig Limerick for St. Patrick's Day

Through the fog, I saw a fat pig
Hop on the end of a twig,
The scene was a blur,
So I'm not really sure,
But I thing he was dancing a jig!

Friday, January 25, 2019

Temperance Limerick Postcard - The Snake in the Grass

You have heard of the snake in the grass
The terrible snake in the grass
But now you must know
Man's deadliest foe
Is the venomous snake in the glass.

Thursday, January 24, 2019

The couple from Gloucester, lost 'er - Vintage limerick

An old couple living in Gloucester
Had a beautiful girl, but they loucester
She fell from a yacht
And never the spacht
Could be found where the cold waves had toucester.

Sunday, December 16, 2018

The Reason for the Season - A Christmas Limerick

I hope that your Christmas is merry,
And your jolly St. Nick is hairy,
But remember the reason,
For this happy season,
Is Jesus, and Joseph, and Mary.

Friday, December 14, 2018

A Snowman Named Garrett - Winter Limerick for Kids

There was a young snowman named Garrett
Whose mother gave him a carrot
With tears in his eyes
He cried out in surprise
"And you say that you want me to wear it?"

Saturday, December 8, 2018

An Elf Named Moll - Vintage Christmas Limerick

There was a young elf named Moll
Who purchased a new parasol
With a handle so long
That she had to be strong
Or she couldn't have lugged it at all.

Monday, November 26, 2018

An Elf Named Piper - A Christmas Limerick Poem for Kids

There was a young elf named Piper
At Christmas, she always got hyper
What was the reason
For her crazy season?
She was the lead candy-cane striper.

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Where Are Santa's Glasses? A Vintage Christmas Limerick

Said an elderly man with gray hair
Who had searched for his specs everywhere
When one dared to propose
That he look on his nose
"How do you suppose they got there?"

Friday, November 23, 2018

An Elf Named Glitter - A #Twitter Christmas Limerick

An Elf Named Glitter - A Twitter Christmas Limerick
There once was an elf named Glitter
Who loved to tweet tweets on her twitter
But this broke a rule
(Santa being old-school)
And the loss of her phone made her bitter.

Sunday, November 18, 2018

Thanksgiving Praise - A Limerick - Pass the Gravy

The crops are all in from the field
And the folks all give thanks for the yield
- Giving praise is right
But don't take all night!
I don't like my gravy congealed.

Sunday, November 11, 2018

A Spud Named Davy - A Thanksgiving Dinner Limerick

There is a young spud named Davy
He wants to be covered in gravy
He'd rather be mashed
Then fried or hashed
Or be made a potato chip, wavy.

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

The Little Hunter - Funny Thanksgiving Turkey Limerick

thanksgiving postcard
Here's something that you rarely see
A bird caused a hunter to flee
The boy dropped his gun
And started to run -
Who knew how tough turkeys could be?

Friday, October 12, 2018

Funny Ogre Halloween Limerick

There's a lumpy, old ogre named Vince,
Just a whiff of his breath makes you wince.
But he has a kind heart
And is gentle and smart,
So we bought him two cases of mints.

Monday, October 1, 2018

A Witch, a Ghoul and a Sprite on All Hallow's Eve - A Limerick

A witch, a ghoul, and a sprite
Dance in the silvery light
It's All Hallow's Eve
- Or don't you believe
That ghosts of the dead roam the night?

Sunday, September 30, 2018

I believe in witches - do you? A Limerick

Do you believe witches are real?
Can you see them or hear them or feel?
So scoff if you must,
But my eyes I trust,
And I think that just now I will squeal!

Monday, September 10, 2018

A Witch Limerick for Kids

A witch with a broom and a cat
Wears a pointed and buckled gray hat
She flies to the store
Because she needs more
Eye of newt, toe of frog, wing of gnat.

Sunday, September 2, 2018

A Fiancee of Brill - Vintage Limerick Postcard

There was a fiancee of Brill
Whose mother cried, "Bless my heart Till!
To hear you keep on
About you and your John
Is enough to make anyone ill!"

Saturday, August 25, 2018

Hamel's Camel Vintage Limerick Postcard

An adventurous person named Hamel
Travelled thousands of miles on a camel
No provisions he took
But for bird's eggs he'd look
Which he'd boil for himself and his camel

Thursday, August 23, 2018

An Old Codger from Maine Vintage Limerick Postcard

Here's an old codger from Maine
Who says you should never restrain
An impulse to send
A card to a friend
No matter how small or how plain

Friday, May 18, 2018

Vinegar Valentine Limerick Postcard - The Bachelor

The Bachelor frequently "knocks"
Matrimony, and very oft flocks
To his club in the eve
For pleasure, we believe -
But how about mending his socks?