There Once Was A Man Named Joe Biden - A Limerick

There once was a man named Joe Biden,
That Amtrak train he was ridin',
V. P. he was made,
"No dumb comments" they prayed,
But his foot, in his mouth, it keeps slidin'.

The Flute Tutor - A Limerick by Carolyn Wells

A tutor who tooted the flute,

Was teaching two tooters to toot,

Said the two to the tutor,

"Is it harder to toot, or

To tutor two tooters to toot?"

Lear Classics - Old Man in a Boat

There was an Old Man in a boat,

Who said, 'I'm afloat! I'm afloat!'

When they said, 'No! you aint!'

He was ready to faint,

That unhappy Old Man in a boat.

Irish Volunteers - Flying Column

The Team From Up North

There once was a team from Michigan,

To beat OSU was their wish again,

But losing six straight,

Seemed likely their fate,

That vict'ry, those boys, they will miss again.

2009 Cincinnati Reds

There's baseball in Cinci, its said,

The hats that they wear, they are red,

But in two thousand and nine,

They're not raising their stein,

All the players are hurtin' or dead!

The Green Grass

Sometimes I sit and I ponder,
What's out in the wide world yonder,
Is the grass greener there,

Though we breathe the same air?

Someday soon, just perhaps, I may wander.

George Street, Limerick, Ireland

There Was An Old Man of Kilkenny - Edward Lear

There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,

Who never had more than a penny;

He spent all that money,

In onions and honey,

That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny.

A Young Lady Whose Name, It Was Simons (Is Marriage A Failure?)

A young lady whose name, it was Simons,

Was exceedingly fond of white diamonds,

Said, "It's lovely to marry

A man like you Harry,

Who knows how to pick out the fine ones."

The Fisherman - He Tells Of The Fish He Has Caught

He tells of the fish he has caught--

(In truth, they were some that he bought),

For he ne'er had a bite,

From morning till night,

Except at the lunch he had bought!

When Mother-In-Law Holds The Key

When Mother-in-law holds the key,

And lets you in after a spree,

She'll recite all your wrongs,

Poke your ribs with the tongs,

And wallop you over her knee.