2009 Cincinnati Reds

There's baseball in Cinci, its said,

The hats that they wear, they are red,

But in two thousand and nine,

They're not raising their stein,

All the players are hurtin' or dead!

The Green Grass

Sometimes I sit and I ponder,
What's out in the wide world yonder,
Is the grass greener there,

Though we breathe the same air?

Someday soon, just perhaps, I may wander.

George Street, Limerick, Ireland

There Was An Old Man of Kilkenny - Edward Lear

There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,

Who never had more than a penny;

He spent all that money,

In onions and honey,

That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny.

A Young Lady Whose Name, It Was Simons (Is Marriage A Failure?)

A young lady whose name, it was Simons,

Was exceedingly fond of white diamonds,

Said, "It's lovely to marry

A man like you Harry,

Who knows how to pick out the fine ones."

The Fisherman - He Tells Of The Fish He Has Caught

He tells of the fish he has caught--

(In truth, they were some that he bought),

For he ne'er had a bite,

From morning till night,

Except at the lunch he had bought!

When Mother-In-Law Holds The Key

When Mother-in-law holds the key,

And lets you in after a spree,

She'll recite all your wrongs,

Poke your ribs with the tongs,

And wallop you over her knee.