Nothing But Limericks

  A witch with a broom and a cat Wears a pointed and buckled, gray hat She flies to the store Because she needs more Eye of newt, toe of fro...

Tell me what scares you the most- A devil, a sprite, or a ghost? An old witch that cackles, Or a skeleton in shackles? What's scary to m...

Each of the reindeer's a flyer They pull Santa's sleigh ever higher But why not a car If you want to go far? 'Cause a slei...

There was an old lady whose folly Induced her to sit upon holly Whereon, by a thorn Her dress being torn She quickly became melancholy...

  When you hear the banshee's shrill cry A person, high-born, will die A murder, quite often Is what fills the coffin Then under the tur...

  I hope that this poem will please you, It is meant, just a little, to tease you, Please have no fear, If a goblin is near, It probably jus...

If you hear at your window a "scritch" It could be a goblin or witch On a night black A pumpkin named Jack Might stop a term...

"War Bonds," said an angler named Wade, "Are the sportingest catch I have made -  They'll save us our freedom And th...

All hail the bells of Yule And the golden peel they play May the message they tell As they rise and they swell Bring joy to your heart...

I hope that your Christmas is merry, And your jolly St. Nick is hairy, But remember the reason, for this joyous season, Is Jesus, and ...

I have a young friend named McGillicuddy Whose favorite toy is Silly Putty She thinks it quite nice To sleep on the ice So I guess tha...

Carly the elf was flustered When she tasted the caramel custard Her taste buds rejected The flavor detected ---The stuff was stadium ...

The cost of good living is greater, Said a gentleman out in Decatur, When Thanksgiving came round, On inquiry I found, He had dined o...

There is an old turkey named Joe He struts wherever he went Dumb things that he said Made your face turn pink He must be the star of t...

The vampire is a very suave creature Was the lesson that Vlad tried to teach her "He leaves his coffin Just every so often,"...

"What's that!" I said, "Didja hear it? It's that sound again, and I fear it." But I found that the noise Wa...

"A pumpkin, I am," said Freddy, "To be carved with a knife, I am ready Since you, I trust Warn you, I must My insides a...

There once was a geezer named Bernie, Who started a long, epic journey. "I never will stop, Till I reach the top!" But they ...

There was an old gourmand of Peel Who supped on some escalloped veal The dreams which ensued Where so awful, so crude They'd have ...

Said a bandmaster, "Wilson, you're sacked! Since you took to Scheppes tonic you've cracked Twenty drumsticks, and split Se...

'Tis sure we'll be wearing the green, When the calendar says March seventeen, We'll be happy when in us, Are pints of...

Through the fog, I saw a fat pig Hop on the end of a twig, The scene was a blur, So I'm not really sure, But I thing he was dancin...

You have heard of the snake in the grass The terrible snake in the grass But now you must know Man's deadliest foe Is the venomous...

An old couple living in Gloucester Had a beautiful girl, but they loucester She fell from a yacht And never the spacht Could be found ...

I hope that your Christmas is merry, And your jolly St. Nick is hairy, But remember the reason, For this happy season, Is Jesus, and J...

There was a young snowman named Garrett Whose mother gave him a carrot With tears in his eyes He cried out in surprise "And you s...

There was a young elf named Moll Who purchased a new parasol With a handle so long That she had to be strong Or she couldn't have ...

There was a young elf named Piper At Christmas, she always got hyper What was the reason For her crazy season? She was the lead candy-...

Said an elderly man with gray hair Who had searched for his specs everywhere When one dared to propose That he look on his nose ...

There once was an elf named Glitter Who loved to tweet tweets on her twitter But this broke a rule (Santa being old-school) And the lo...

The crops are all in from the field And the folks all give thanks for the yield - Giving praise is right But don't take all night! ...

There is a young spud named Davy He wants to be covered in gravy He'd rather be mashed Then fried or hashed Or be made a potato ch...

Here's something that you rarely see A bird caused a hunter to flee The boy dropped his gun And started to run - Who knew how toug...

There's a lumpy, old ogre named Vince, Just a whiff of his breath makes you wince. But he has a kind heart And is gentle and smart,...

A witch, a ghoul, and a sprite Dance in the silvery light It's All Hallow's Eve - Or don't you believe That ghosts of the ...

Do you believe witch es are real? Can you see them or hear them or feel? So scoff if you must , But my eyes I trust , And I think ...